Knight Rider

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: C- | Grade It Now!
A Talking Car?! Get Outta Here!

A cargo plane lands, and KITT is inside it. And Michael's inside KITT. KITT has sporty racing stripes in this scene. Carrie tells him that Sarah has gotten the package's coordinates from the Israeli Intelligence people and programmed them into KITT. Go there and get it, and then come back! Michael snipes a bit about people waiting to kill him, and Carrie has no words of reassurance for him. Off you go! Yes, out the back of a taxiing plane.

Michael and KITT chat about the possibility of a leak. But all of a sudden, Michael's angry that KITT would suspect anyone at Knight Industries HQ. Well, where does he expect a leak to come from? You hardly ever have a leak from outside; it wouldn't even make sense. KITT ruffles through Alex's files (on the heads-up display, we see them ruffling), and they're all classified. Michael points out that his files are also classified. Now KITT wants to know what Michael's relationship is with Sarah, and I believe we have entered the part of the show where the computer wants to understand the emotions of the hu-man. Yep, Michael says he and Sarah are "just friends", and KITT asks prying questions about hormone levels. Apparently, KITT has a pheromone detector.

Suddenly! KITT stops, saying they have arrived at the package. Then he says there's no sign of the package, but there's a man with a gun under a bridge. Michael gets out (because why would you want to stay inside the nigh-invulnerable, super-intelligent car?) and ambushes a bushy-haired man. The man asks him not to shoot, and then claims to be the package. Also, he's really bald. And only "part" of him is the package, and I think you know what he's talking about. Actually, I'm pretty sure you don't. I certainly don't. But as Michael leads him back to KITT, a car zooms up and a woman gets out. She's got a convertible, leather boots, and attitude. She claims to know Michael (as Michael Traceur), and to prove it she's got the same tattoo as him. Except she's got it on her chest, so she can show off some cleavage. She knees him in the stomach a couple of times, pulls a gun, and orders Package Boy into her car.

This whole time, KITT is just sitting there doing nothing. Package Boy has a little trouble getting into the car because it's one of those weird vertical doors like you get in Lamborghinis, but he figures it out. The lady says that the only reason she's not killing Michael is that she owes him. She zooms off. After the commercials, Michael is in KITT and they are also zooming around. KITT is skeptical that he doesn't know her. Michael claims that the tattoo is just a generic Special Forces tattoo. There are a lot of cars on this road. Finally, KITT comes up with video of Michael and the lady making out at a sidewalk cafe in Beirut, although Michael denies ever having been to Beirut. The HQ crowd is also watching the footage and Zoe babbles about "tongue action" with her usual complete disregard for appropriate workplace behavior. Alex eventually cuts in to remind everyone that Michael's supposed to be getting the package, because it's important for some vague reason nobody bothered to work out before they started shooting.

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Knight Rider




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