Knight Rider
Journey to the End of the Knight

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Monty Ashley: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Caution: May Contain Bikinis

We start in the "California High Desert." Michael and KITT are roaring down the freeway while Alex briefs Michael via the heads-up display. It seems like he could have done that before flying Michael and the car all the way out to the desert, doesn't it? But then we wouldn't have a scenic backdrop for the exposition, which tells us that Michael is looking for the Chang brothers.

They pull up to a bar surrounded by dudes and chicks checking out expensive cars. Inside, a band is squalling out some of that rock and roll the kids like so much. KITT uses the bar's security cameras (which are, of course, full-color, surprisingly high resolution, and controllable via the Internet, I guess) to report to Michael that the Changs are not there. Michael could probably have found that out himself by looking around, but what fun would that be? Suddenly, the bartender flings a football at Michael. It's an old buddy, which would seem to ruin that whole "fake death" thing they did at the end of the last episode.

Michael claims that he's getting into racing again and KITT breaks in to tell him that Ian Chang's girlfriend is in the bar. This is where the heads-up windshield display pays off, because as KITT's talking, we see a picture of her with a caption saying "Celine Lea." Apparently KITT leaves the heads-up display running even when there's no one to see it. He should have a screensaver or something.

Michael does some kind of gross coin-flipping thing with the bartender and goes off to hit on Celine. KITT provides a background check, so we learn that she likes "bad boys and fast cars." So you just know she's going to be a well-rounded character. Michael uses his ill-gotten knowledge to impress her that he knows she's a Libra (seriously? Because "What's your sign" was a hackneyed opening line the first time this show was on) and tells her he wants to race. But just then! The Chang brothers come in to the bar, see Michael, and they fight. Well, they start to, but the bartender has a shotgun. Michael dares them to race. But the Changs only race for pinks! Everyone piles out of the bar, because it is clear that it is on.

There is vrooming of engines and establishing of race parameters. They'll be going out that way, turning around and coming back. The young lady without too many clothes on will be starting them off. You know the drill. KITT is a little worried about racing for pinks, since Michael isn't actually his legal owner. But there's no time to worry about that, because Alex is on the phone. Windshield. Windshield-phone. Point is, Michael is supposed to be infiltrating the Chang crew, not showing off his high-tech ride. Michael claims he has to impress the "big dog", which KITT thinks refers to an actual dog. Oh, you wacky A.I. When will you ever learn what figurative language means? Michael's explanation involves a lot more animal metaphors, including "pecking order" and "alpha male," but sadly there is no more confusion-based humor to be had. Instead, KITT comments that this is "an outdated concept," which is a bit rich coming from a 20-year-old show that's currently in the process of recreating a '50s drag race. Heaven knows we wouldn't want to be outdated. Incidentally, Chang has a red convertible with a jet engine or something.

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Knight Rider

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