What? We made it to episode five? And they picked up the show for a whole season? Really? Well, I'm out of the cancellation pool, I guess. But this is the last weecap here on Television Without Pity, because while the ratings might not be awful, not many of the people watching it are also reading these words and posting in the forums. But we might as well go out on the right note, so let's do this thing up proper.
KITT's roaring down a random mountain road while Mike slouches in the driver's seat and watches football. KITT says that HQ wants them to review Mike's latest cover identity, which is code for "Let's tell each other things we already know so the audience can get clued in," but Mike is feeling snotty and rebellious and unshaven. He tells KITT not to babysit him, as the windshield shows the Dallas Cowboys leading the Seattle Seahawks 13-10. I think it's the third quarter of the 2006 Wild Card game, which means that (spoilers!) Seattle is going to end up winning, 21-20, on Tony Romo's botched hold for a 19-yard field goal. With that out of the way, Mike tells KITT (and us!) that his cover is "Jack Miller," AWOL ex-USMC Special Forces. Doesn't sound like much of a stretch, but at least that tattoo won't be much of an issue this time. Or will it? (Correct answer: No, it will not.)
Mike's cover identity is someone who's AWOL after attacking his commanding officer, and KITT wants to know why someone would do that. "War can make a man do all kinds of things he can't explain," pontificates Mike. Then, noticing the phone ringing, he adds, "Kinda like women." And then Sarah appears on the windshield to mock that sentiment, which makes me wonder if HQ can hear everything that happens inside KITT. If so, I expect that Zoe is recording everything for some twisted use later on. Sarah's calling to ask KITT to "run an algorithm" on "the new transform." Mike claims that Sarah is both a "brainiac" and a "gearhead" and further alleges that the combination is "very hot." It would be more convincing if we ever saw her do anything either brainy or geary, you know? So far, she mostly just calls him up on the windshield-phone and occasionally plays with a microscope. The laser robots seem to do most of the actual work.
Mike wants to know what Sarah's doing this weekend, but she claims it's none of his business. Aren't they dating? I thought they settled that. At the end of the last episode, they were lounging around on the beach together, and he's always up in her sleeping pod. Mike mentions that her birthday is coming up and that he intends to take her out and get her drunk. Smooth talker!