MONDO EXTRAS
For The Love Of Mike
...Rivai, who's got a gun on him. Graiman calls her off, and they all head over to KITT, walking entirely too slowly for a group of people who know armed assassins are nearby. Rivai tells Graiman that his double got killed, and asks how long it would take to break Graiman's encryption codes. He estimates that it "could be hours," and Rivai's talking about getting him somewhere safe and getting the drives back, but Graiman doesn't really listen because he's reuniting with Sarah. Then he greets KITT and asks if he can pinpoint the baddies' location. KITT, using the froggy voice common to all compromised AIs since the HAL 9000 first debuted it in 2001: A Space Odyssey, garbles that he's trying, but he's getting hacked at the moment. KITT's estimate that the baddies will have control of his drives in about 23 seconds sets off...a lot of worried staring. "Fourteen seconds," KITT croaks, like, does someone want to...do something? Besides stand around waiting for Pointedly Evil, in an attempt to create suspense which Pointedly Evil will himself disperse by prating on instead of just killing you all? (...Spoiler.) After an ice age, Graiman orders KITT to shut himself down.
But sure enough, the...whatever word implies even less action than "dithering" has allowed the baddies to catch up and surround the white hats. Pointedly Evil tells them to drop their weapons: "I won't ask a second time." Except that he obviously will, because he's a Talking Killer. Enter Sheriff Ramsey, screen right; Rivai fixes him with a dull "you, sir, are a dickhead" glare and shows her gun before dropping it, but Jenny has another weapon in her waistband, which she reaches for slowly -- so slowly that even Pointedly Evil can get the drop on her, and when he sees her arm moving, he shoots her in the chest. Asian Henchman grabs Graiman as Mike and Rivai rush to Jenny's side. "Guns! Now!" Pointedly Evil barks. "Or the girl dies next." Mike throws Jenny's gun to one side and stares a hole in Pointedly Evil before turning his attention back to Jenny, who's gasping out apologies. Pointedly Evil is prattling on about how KITT is a fine machine, fit for retro-engineering to other needs. Mike reassures Jenny, but before he can tell her he loves her, she dies. Mike looks like he's about to cry, and Bruening is pretty good at the snarky stuff, but the sad stuff...less so. Meanwhile, Pointedly Evil is yet again wasting time telling other characters what they, and the audience, already know -- if he can't get access to Prometheus via Graiman, he'll get it out of KITT. Graiman clichés that he's talking about starting a war, but Pointedly Evil doesn't care: "A little war is always good for business." Okay, Hall I. Burton, we get it, good grief. Pointedly Evil shoves Graiman at the others to get ready for the transport's arrival; orders Sarah toward KITT; and orders Mike and Rivai onto their knees for execution. Of course, he has them walk a short distance away instead of just shooting them both in the back en route, and I swear to God I'm not advocating murdering these people, even though I keep saying stuff like "just kill them already"; really, I'm not, but seriously, we know Mike isn't going to bite it. He's the hero, it's the pilot. That being the case, spare us the belabored execution set-up, because ain't nobody getting executed and we all know it.













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