Knight Rider
Knight Rider 2008

Episode Report Card
Sars: B- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
For The Love Of Mike

Fade up on a utility truck pulling up to a house at night. The driver gets out, looks around in a pointedly evil fashion, and heads up to the house with his Asian henchman. The grey-haired and bespectacled guy who answers the door is suspicious that the power company would send a team out at night; he's satisfied with their IDs, but gets suspicious again when Pointedly Evil asks a bunch of, um, pointed and evil questions about the guy's generator and whether he lives there alone. Grey Hair -- who looks familiar, but whom I don't see on the IMDb cast list -- asks if they know what the problem could be. As the closed captioning helpfully notes, Pointedly Evil's accent then switches from American to British as he evils pointedly, "Actually, Mr. Graiman, I do." The camera tilts all "uh oh" as Pointedly Evil adds, "We cut your power." Graiman: "[Gulp.]" Asian Henchman leaps forward to headlock Graiman as Pointedly Evil says he wants Graiman's hard drives; Graiman tells him to take the drives and leave, then, but Pointedly Evil will need Graiman to walk him through the encryptions. Graiman gurgles something to the effect of "over my dead body," but killing Graiman doesn't do Pointedly Evil any good -- not when he can drive up to Stanford, kidnap Graiman's daughter, and torture her while Graiman watches instead. By way of response, Graiman starts flailing at his own chest, using the universal sign language for "I'm having a heart attack"; it seems a little naïve of Asian Henchman to just let go of him under the circumstances, but as it turns out, Graiman isn't faking, and drops to the floor, where he promptly dies. Pointedly Evil's like, "Oh well that's just great."

Outside, two other henchmen get out of the truck. One is a nerdish Anthony Rapp-looking guy with Buddy Holly glasses; the other is a well-built African-American dude whose character, according to the IMDb, is called "Smoke." Hard to believe nobody threw the flag on that naming choice, but as it's far from the only goofy moniker in the movie, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Inside, Anthony Crapp looks at Graiman's cooling corpse and snarks that that didn't go according to plan. Pointedly Evil tells him to shut it; they'll just take the drives, snatch the daughter, and get her to give up the codes. A sudden whirring sound startles the group, and Asian Henchman shoots -- at a Roomba (hee), which throws off a few defeated sparks as Anthony Crapp is like, nice one, Hopalong. Pointedly Evil orders them to fan out and make sure the house is empty, and Asian Henchman and Anthony Crapp skulk into a darkened robotics lab, where Anthony Crapp gets a boner about all the "complex" "algorithms" he sees displayed on various computer screens. More lurking and interpretive-dance pointing of flashlights and laser gun-sights as the team makes its way into the garage area of the lab. Shot of an old-school California license plate reading "KNIGHT." (Not shown: the alternate tag reading "KNI 641.") (It was something like that; don't email me.) Pointedly Evil stares at part of an engine block marked "Knight Two Thousand" before more or less bumping into a shiny black Mustang with expensive rims. The team regards the car for a moment before a red light on the hood comes on and the sound of heartbeats fills the garage. KITT's aliiiiiiive! "Certainly didn't come from the dealership," Pointedly Evil remarks, and reaches for the door handle, but KITT isn't having any of that; the garage door opens, and KITT squeals out in reverse, the team in confused pursuit. Pointedly Evil yells at the ostensible driver to turn off the car and get out; cut to a Terminator-y KITT's-eye shot of Pointedly Evil as KITT processes his identity, then throws himself into forward gear and peels out. The team showers the car with gunfire. Close-up of KITT's exoskeleton semi-absorbing the bullets and pushing them back out.

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Knight Rider

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Knight Rider
Knight Rider 2008

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
For The Love Of Mike

Fade up on a utility truck pulling up to a house at night. The driver gets out, looks around in a pointedly evil fashion, and heads up to the house with his Asian henchman. The grey-haired and bespectacled guy who answers the door is suspicious that the power company would send a team out at night; he's satisfied with their IDs, but gets suspicious again when Pointedly Evil asks a bunch of, um, pointed and evil questions about the guy's generator and whether he lives there alone. Grey Hair -- who looks familiar, but whom I don't see on the IMDb cast list -- asks if they know what the problem could be. As the closed captioning helpfully notes, Pointedly Evil's accent then switches from American to British as he evils pointedly, "Actually, Mr. Graiman, I do." The camera tilts all "uh oh" as Pointedly Evil adds, "We cut your power." Graiman: "[Gulp.]" Asian Henchman leaps forward to headlock Graiman as Pointedly Evil says he wants Graiman's hard drives; Graiman tells him to take the drives and leave, then, but Pointedly Evil will need Graiman to walk him through the encryptions. Graiman gurgles something to the effect of "over my dead body," but killing Graiman doesn't do Pointedly Evil any good -- not when he can drive up to Stanford, kidnap Graiman's daughter, and torture her while Graiman watches instead. By way of response, Graiman starts flailing at his own chest, using the universal sign language for "I'm having a heart attack"; it seems a little naïve of Asian Henchman to just let go of him under the circumstances, but as it turns out, Graiman isn't faking, and drops to the floor, where he promptly dies. Pointedly Evil's like, "Oh well that's just great."

Outside, two other henchmen get out of the truck. One is a nerdish Anthony Rapp-looking guy with Buddy Holly glasses; the other is a well-built African-American dude whose character, according to the IMDb, is called "Smoke." Hard to believe nobody threw the flag on that naming choice, but as it's far from the only goofy moniker in the movie, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Inside, Anthony Crapp looks at Graiman's cooling corpse and snarks that that didn't go according to plan. Pointedly Evil tells him to shut it; they'll just take the drives, snatch the daughter, and get her to give up the codes. A sudden whirring sound startles the group, and Asian Henchman shoots -- at a Roomba (hee), which throws off a few defeated sparks as Anthony Crapp is like, nice one, Hopalong. Pointedly Evil orders them to fan out and make sure the house is empty, and Asian Henchman and Anthony Crapp skulk into a darkened robotics lab, where Anthony Crapp gets a boner about all the "complex" "algorithms" he sees displayed on various computer screens. More lurking and interpretive-dance pointing of flashlights and laser gun-sights as the team makes its way into the garage area of the lab. Shot of an old-school California license plate reading "KNIGHT." (Not shown: the alternate tag reading "KNI 641.") (It was something like that; don't email me.) Pointedly Evil stares at part of an engine block marked "Knight Two Thousand" before more or less bumping into a shiny black Mustang with expensive rims. The team regards the car for a moment before a red light on the hood comes on and the sound of heartbeats fills the garage. KITT's aliiiiiiive! "Certainly didn't come from the dealership," Pointedly Evil remarks, and reaches for the door handle, but KITT isn't having any of that; the garage door opens, and KITT squeals out in reverse, the team in confused pursuit. Pointedly Evil yells at the ostensible driver to turn off the car and get out; cut to a Terminator-y KITT's-eye shot of Pointedly Evil as KITT processes his identity, then throws himself into forward gear and peels out. The team showers the car with gunfire. Close-up of KITT's exoskeleton semi-absorbing the bullets and pushing them back out.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next

Knight Rider

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