Knight Rider
Knight Rider 2008

Episode Report Card
Sars: B- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
For The Love Of Mike

In the car, KITT apologizes for his "brusque" phone demeanor and his "tardiness," all the while nimbly dodging undergrads on campus walkways. Sarah manages despite the centrifugal force whipping her back and forth to ask what's going on; KITT hasn't formed a theory on that yet. Nor is he certain that Graiman is really dead. Come on, KITT -- a system that advanced, and you don't have IMDb bookmarked? Bruce Davison is in this movie and we haven't seen him yet. Do the math. KITT continues careening through the remarkably empty Stanford campus, explaining that "hostiles" breached the mansion perimeter, which triggered a very specific program. Asian Henchman leaps out in front of KITT and starts shooting, so KITT has to slam on the brakes while Sarah cringes away from the bullets; then he takes off again, and Sarah's like, "Who are these guys?" Same guys who broke into the mansion, KITT tells her, as the rest of the bad guys pile into a Ford Focus to follow KITT. KITT, meanwhile, notes (with the help of a Lawnmower Man graphic) that Sarah's heart rate and respiration are elevated. "Gee, ya think?" Sarah snaps. Well, seriously. Shut(t) up, KITT. Sarah asks if KITT has a name. Graiman, not the most original thinker, dubbed him the Knight Industries Three Thousand, but Sarah can call him "3 Thou." Just kidding. She can call him "KITT," uh duh, and you know, I understand why they have to do all this exposition and why it's nineteen minutes into the movie before we officially learn the car's name, and yet, I...don't really understand why they have to do that, actually, because...we know the car's name. Everyone watching the movie knows the car's name; everyone watching the movie either watched the original Knight Rider, or knows the references, because if we didn't, we wouldn't care enough to bother with this new one in the first place. Yeah, the movie's doing double duty as a pilot, but it's not like anybody watching just went, "Ohhhhh, I thought it was that other black car that drives itself." Amish tweens figured that shit out the minute KITT turned on his little whchoo whchoo heartlight, come on.

Sorry about that! But now that I've bitched about it once, I don't have to do it again. Probably. Back to the car chase already in progress. KITT plans to take mountain roads to try to lose the guys in the Focus.

Frat Pad. The collision with the garage door has broken a critical rod of some sort, which means Mike can't race the car, which means he can't collect prize money, which means he can't pay his "investors" the ninety grand he owes them. Mike's like, so, what, you're going to break my legs now? No, the bearded investor says; Mike was an Army Ranger, he'd probably kick Beardy's ass. His silent-lummox sidekick, however, is happy to do the honors. Lummox lurches at Mike, they fight, and Mike's about to win when Beardy points a gun at Spindly and gives Mike his motivation: "You have until midnight to get me my money." Mike asks for more time, but Beardy's given Mike more than enough already, and when Mike asks how he's supposed to get that kind of money by midnight, Beardy snorts, "Have a bake sale, what do I care." Hee. Come sit next to me, Beardy. If Mike doesn't get the money, Spindly meets his maker in the Nevada desert; if Mike still doesn't have the money 24 hours after that, Mike joins him. Beardy and Lummox leave. Mike and Spindly exchange defeated looks.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next

Knight Rider

Comments

Knight Rider
Knight Rider 2008

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
For The Love Of Mike

In the car, KITT apologizes for his "brusque" phone demeanor and his "tardiness," all the while nimbly dodging undergrads on campus walkways. Sarah manages despite the centrifugal force whipping her back and forth to ask what's going on; KITT hasn't formed a theory on that yet. Nor is he certain that Graiman is really dead. Come on, KITT -- a system that advanced, and you don't have IMDb bookmarked? Bruce Davison is in this movie and we haven't seen him yet. Do the math. KITT continues careening through the remarkably empty Stanford campus, explaining that "hostiles" breached the mansion perimeter, which triggered a very specific program. Asian Henchman leaps out in front of KITT and starts shooting, so KITT has to slam on the brakes while Sarah cringes away from the bullets; then he takes off again, and Sarah's like, "Who are these guys?" Same guys who broke into the mansion, KITT tells her, as the rest of the bad guys pile into a Ford Focus to follow KITT. KITT, meanwhile, notes (with the help of a Lawnmower Man graphic) that Sarah's heart rate and respiration are elevated. "Gee, ya think?" Sarah snaps. Well, seriously. Shut(t) up, KITT. Sarah asks if KITT has a name. Graiman, not the most original thinker, dubbed him the Knight Industries Three Thousand, but Sarah can call him "3 Thou." Just kidding. She can call him "KITT," uh duh, and you know, I understand why they have to do all this exposition and why it's nineteen minutes into the movie before we officially learn the car's name, and yet, I...don't really understand why they have to do that, actually, because...we know the car's name. Everyone watching the movie knows the car's name; everyone watching the movie either watched the original Knight Rider, or knows the references, because if we didn't, we wouldn't care enough to bother with this new one in the first place. Yeah, the movie's doing double duty as a pilot, but it's not like anybody watching just went, "Ohhhhh, I thought it was that other black car that drives itself." Amish tweens figured that shit out the minute KITT turned on his little whchoo whchoo heartlight, come on.

Sorry about that! But now that I've bitched about it once, I don't have to do it again. Probably. Back to the car chase already in progress. KITT plans to take mountain roads to try to lose the guys in the Focus.

Frat Pad. The collision with the garage door has broken a critical rod of some sort, which means Mike can't race the car, which means he can't collect prize money, which means he can't pay his "investors" the ninety grand he owes them. Mike's like, so, what, you're going to break my legs now? No, the bearded investor says; Mike was an Army Ranger, he'd probably kick Beardy's ass. His silent-lummox sidekick, however, is happy to do the honors. Lummox lurches at Mike, they fight, and Mike's about to win when Beardy points a gun at Spindly and gives Mike his motivation: "You have until midnight to get me my money." Mike asks for more time, but Beardy's given Mike more than enough already, and when Mike asks how he's supposed to get that kind of money by midnight, Beardy snorts, "Have a bake sale, what do I care." Hee. Come sit next to me, Beardy. If Mike doesn't get the money, Spindly meets his maker in the Nevada desert; if Mike still doesn't have the money 24 hours after that, Mike joins him. Beardy and Lummox leave. Mike and Spindly exchange defeated looks.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next

Knight Rider

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP