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Double Your Fun

Island Reality; Jungle: The gang reaches the outer walls of the Temple complex. Hurley notes how big it is, and Jack wonders how they'll get Sayid over the top. Hurley somehow knows enough to stroll right over to the hole in which Montand got his arm chewed off (or his body, perspective dependent). "We're not; we're bringing him in through here." They climb down into the hole, and find Montand's one armed skeleton, and a book, Fear and Trembling, by Søren Kierkegaard (written under the name Johannes de Silentio, i.e. John the Silent).

Kate is not compelled to wait any respectable amount of time before rifling through Montand's backpack and whatnot. She finds matches and grabs and lights a nearby torch, while Hurley asks questions: "Who brings a book into a cave? Why is his arm missing?" Jin answers the second. "It was ripped off when he was attacked by the black smoke." They soon start on their way and have to negotiate around a big pit in the floor. Tiny little Kate makes it by easily, but Hurley has to be a bit more careful, as do Jack and Jin, who are carrying Sayid on his stretcher. When they reach the other side, Kate goes ahead, even though her torch is their only decent source of light beside Hurley's flashlight, so her going ahead is just dumb and selfish. YES! They really are back. When he can no longer see Kate, Jack grabs Hurley's flashlight and rushes ahead, leaving Hurley, Jin and the dying man to stumble around in the dark. Oh, Jack. He runs through the hallways in this underground fortress calling her name. Hurley (I think) calls out for Jack, but then there's a smacking sound and unintelligible yelling. Jack yells, "Hurley" and rushes back. Someone calls Jack's name. Jack finds himself at a crossroads of sorts, so he stops to suss out which way he should go. In the background, a figure sneaks by him. Jack whips around, but before we know it, he's grabbed by someone from behind. Someone (else?) punches him in the face. Somewhere, Sawyer thinks, "That's my job." The screen goes black, but then...

We fade right back in on a semi-conscious Jack being dragged outside by a guy in a red turban and brown tunic and another brown tunic guy. They and all the forthcoming new others will be referred to as "Templars," because they are at the temple, and I saw "Templars" used on our forums (thanks, y'all) and it works, okay? I can't even describe the Templars'...fashion sense. It's Ren Faire meets Woodstock meeting pre-war European peasant. The Templars push Jack toward Kate, Hurley, Jin, and poor still-dying Sayid, who are already outside, surrounded by a bunch of other Templars. Soon, they pause at the edge of a small pond to take in the sight before them. Hurley finally says, "Guess we found the temple."Commercial.

L.A. Reality: At customs, when the agent asks him if he has anything to declare, Mars says, "Just a murderer." Soon, they're on their way. Katie has to go to the bathroom, and although at first, Mars tells her to hold it, she turns her pretty lady act on him. "Edward, please." He takes her right into the ladies room, and after ensuring it's empty, he lets her shut the stall door. That's right. He wouldn't let her use utensils to eat her lasagna, but he lets her shut the stall door. Kate takes a pen (JACK'S) out of her pocket, and unscrews it. The spring inside falls to the floor. Kate only lets this stop her for a second, though. She then goes about trying to pick the lock on her shackles. Edward rinses his face in the sink and then turns back to the stall. When he steps on the spring, he bends down to pick it up. Immediately, he tells Kate that her time is up. She's still picking away at the lock, so she tells him she's not finished and needs a minute. Finally, he leans up against the door: "Austen, I swear to God -- you don't open this door -- I'm coming in..." Kate kicks the stall door right into his face. She then knees him in the groin, grabs his head, and bounces it off the counter. He falls to the floor unconscious. She strips his jacket off him and covers her cuffs with it as two other women enter the rest room. Kate makes like she was just attacked by a random stranger and is terribly frazzled. "I just have to get out of here." She takes off, but the two women are right behind her and head off to security to report the fearsome attacker in the ladies lounge. Why Kate didn't grab the handcuff keys, I'll never know. It is interesting though, that she didn't give a good damn about the Halliburton case, when that (and the toy airplane inside) was all she could think about, back in the day.

As the ladies report the attacker, Kate tries to make a break for it. She runs for an elevator that's just about closed. "Wait, hold the door!" The occupant opens the doors back up. It's Sawyer, who smarms, "Welcome aboard." Kate says nothing, so he adds, "We were on the same flight -- Sydney." Kate's not impressed. Sawyer looks at her sideways and spots her cuffs. He pretends he doesn't see as the elevator stops at another floor to let on two security agents. They get a call over their walkies to get their "asses" to the international baggage claim, for a "341." Sawyer asks what a 341 is. One of the agents tells him that's confidential. Sawyer snarks, "If it's confidential, how am I supposed to know if I see one?" When the elevator doors open, the agents start to get off, but Sawyer holds them back. "Excuse me. Ladies first." Kate slinks by him and looks him straight in the eye with a knowing grin. "Thanks." Sawyer returns the sentiment in look and tone. "Take care." We cut to...

Island Reality; Jungle: Sawyer and Miles fill in Juliet's grave. When they're done, Sawyer asks Miles to tell him what Juliet wanted to say before she died. Is it me, or does Miles seem a little...hurt? "That's why you asked me to stay here with you?" When Sawyer points out that Miles is the only one around who talks to dead people (he mustn't know about Hurley) Miles tells him that's not how it works, so Sawyer gets rough. He tackles Miles and pushes him face down into the dirt. Miles and I would be angry with him, except he's so obviously broken. Miles agrees to do his best. He lifts himself up into a kneeling position and tries to hone in on Juliet's spirit (or whatever it is he does). The camera and sound guys work overtime to show us that SOMETHING IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING HERE. When everything settles down, Miles says, "It worked." Sawyer says, "Well, what did she want?" Miles looks at him. "That's what she wanted to tell you: it worked." Sawyer tries to take this in. He gets back on his feet and finally stammers out, "What worked?" Sawyer stalks off before Miles answers, which is just as well, because Miles doesn't have an answer. We cut to...

Temple: The Templars march our peeps right up to the temple building. Out comes some more Templars, including a Horace-lite character (per imdb.com he's Lennon; John Hawkes) and a Japanese man (per imdb.com he's Dogen; Hiroyuki Sanada). Their names aren't given on screen, but we'll be calling them Lennon (who wears John Lennon-esque wire-frame specs) and Yoko (who is Mr. Bossypants). Thanks to reader Gary for the Yoko inspiration. Now, to simplify things -- Yoko does all the talking, but he talks in Japanese. There's no subtitles when he speaks, but Lennon translates everything. So when you see me write, "Lennon translates," assume he's translating something Yoko just said.

Lennon translates: "Who are you." Cindy steps forward and says she knows who they are. "They were on the first plane -- Oceanic 815, along with me." So, between her "first plane" remark (Ajira 316 being the second) and Jacob's comment to Hurley that he died an hour befo

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