Las Vegas
Luck Be A Lady

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B- | Grade It Now!
Bigamist Ed

Mary's got her face buried in a huge arrangement of roses. She asks Janet who sent them, and Janet dismisses the question by waving around her hand and stating that she gets so many, she doesn't even bother to check anymore. She natters on while Mary reads the typed card, which contains your usual stalkeresque, "If I can't have you, nobody else can!" crap. You'd think that divas would attract a better, or at least more theatrically baroque, quality of stalker. Anyway, Janet vamps in front of a mirror and asks how she looks, and Mary barely spares a moment's glance at the blue spangled mermaid gown before decreeing, "It makes your ass look big." Janet concurs with, "Damn!" Mary heads off to pester Danny while Janet throws up her hands and screams, "Somebody!" I want to do that. Think about how potent a superpower that is: you bellow, and an army of flunkies hops to. Anyway, Janet directs her flunkies to get her out of one dress and to find another, then turns toward Mary to ask, "Honey, you want to have a latte?" only to discover there's no latte to be had. That's okay, Janet. You don't need to be having dairy products on the same night as a big vocal performance. Come to think of it, she doesn't need to be bellowing like a sow in heat on the same night as a big vocal performance either: why is she not clanging a cowbell to summon flunkies and holding up placards written by a nervous-looking scribe flunkie as she demands things in a lot of capital letters and exclamation points? Anyway, Mary's apparent impertinence causes Janet to exclaim, "I love that girl!" I'd love it if Janet were to decide she loved Mary so much, she had to take her on a world tour or take up permanent residence in the Montecito. I tell you, we need more Janet! What is a casino without a diva terrorizing everyone?

Cue Mary and her strapless dress jogging over to see Danny. Given that this show has enough money to pay for fancy special effects, would it kill them to buy Mary a good strapless bra for these scenes? She nags about the note and the whole stalker thing; Danny replies, "If I didn't think you'd be safe, do you really think I'd let you hang out with her?" Mary pulls back and says, "Let me?" before walking off, laughing. Danny watches her go, wondering what the hell just happened.

Sam comes over right then to complain that Brunson's still hanging around, she has twenty VIPs coming in for the concert (and…she's going to shove them all into one mansion?), and Danny's not listening. Some kid with extremely poor judgment picks that moment to check Sam out and slap her rear. Sam turns around, floating like a butterfly, stinging like a bee, and shrieking like an outraged housecat. Danny puts the one guy in a headlock, and hold back a punching, hollering Sam with an "Easy there, champ" until she shows no signs of cooling it, and ends up putting her in a headlock too. The punk apologizes; Danny directs a disheveled Sam to go see Big Ed in ten minutes.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

Las Vegas




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP