Las Vegas
Pilot

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Danny's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Danny hangs up; in the background, Herman is still bitching and moaning. And while I am still not sure why on Earth I'm supposed to be sympathetic to a multibillion-dollar corporation's security woes in the face of relatively small-scale cheats, I can totally understand why they'd want to take the mewling moneybags Herman for a ride; anyone who deals with him should get some compensation for the valuable time Herman wrecks with his presence. Danny delays Herman's leaving by offering him all sorts of extravagant things, then heads off to crush the cheater.

Inside the casino, Cheater wins another hand. Big Ed comes over and says, "Excuse me. You're killing us here. We're going to shut down the table, and this is going to have to be your last hand." The cheater replies, "Then I'm going all out." Nessa watches as Big Ed underplays with, "Well, I'm -- I'm sorry, but that's slightly above our table limit." Cheater belligerently replies, "So change the limit." Big Ed smiles apologetically, "I can't do that." "Then find somebody who can," Cheater blusters. Sheesh. Whatever happened to charming rogues who may have had no morals, but at least had impeccable manners? These grifters today have no style. Nessa informs Big Ed, "He's up over three and a half mil. That's seven-plus if he wins." Big Ed manages to look worried as he says, "I-I know." Big Ed catches some anonymous guy's eye and nods near-imperceptibly. The guy nods so we can see it, Big Ed makes a big nod in return, and says, "All right. Uh, let him play." Nessa taps the blackjack dealer and says, "I'll deal this hand." Cheater doesn't seem too torn up about that. He pushes forth his entire rack. Nessa lays down the first card: seven of clubs on top of the five of hearts. She deals the next card -- queen of hearts. There's a tense moment on her side but Cheater's paying attention. Then he looks down at his cards and commands, "Hit me." She does, and the king of spades drops with a thud. For those of you who may be wondering why this is bad: the goal to winning at blackjack is to make sure your card count doesn't exceed 21. Since face cards are worth ten, and he already had 12 with the seven of clubs and the five of hearts, Cheater's looking at cards that total 22 -- one dramatic point over. The crowd groans. The cheater looks at the huge rack of chips he just lost and protests, "That's impossible." Out pops Danny: "Actually, it's not. He's got a mini-remote fiber optic camera implanted in his finger, which is fed to his partner the valet -- who tells him every card being dealt through an earpiece built into his glasses. And I just had his accomplice tell him the wrong card." And then Danny passes out from having delivered that monster-sized chunk of dialogue without taking a breath. Nessa notes that "it's not illegal to cheat a cheater."

Big Ed orders the giant-sized men now holding the cheater and the valet to "take these two clowns and march them around for everyone to see. Make sure everyone gets a good look at them. Nobody cheats in my casino. March them around!" The crowd's affections are fickle: where once they were applauding Cheater's hands, now they're clapping for Big Ed. Oh, whatever. Big Ed orders them all to disperse.

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Las Vegas

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