Las Vegas
Pilot

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Danny's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

We transition to the first of the many scenes which indicate how Danny's terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day will go as the camera zooms in on the grainy footage of the elevator exhibitionist getting her freak on -- and then goes to the you-are-there coverage. She's shrieking, "Ride 'em, cowboy!" and he's making like a mechanical bull. On the other side of the door, Danny nice-guys, "I'm sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Barry, but there's a camera directly above you. We can see what you're doing." To the great surprise of nobody, Mrs. Barry makes it clear that she's okay with that.

Danny strides across the casino floor, VO-ing, "I always get the tough jobs, even before I made the mistake of sleeping with the boss's daughter. But that's because I was born and raised in Neon City. Aren't voice-overs great for exposition? It's much easier having to write masterful dialogue or depend on viewers to put the pieces together when it comes to my unique qualifications for dealing with casino habitues." Or something to that effect. We see how Danny knows everyone and everyone knows him -- a whole row of hookers calls, "Hello." So...the hookers are local? Like, Danny went to high school with them? Wouldn't that make reunions awkward?

As Danny smugly recounts that he's Big Ed's only hope of finding the whale, Mrs. J walks by and idly observes that her husband's "a controlling bastard." "Baby, I'm your controlling bastard," Mr. J replies. Oh, he does not. Danny mutters all ironic-like, "Happy 30th." And then he bumps into Nikki Cox, a.k.a. Mary Connell. She greets him with a smooch on the cheek as Danny VOs that she's the first girl he ever kissed. He's busy grinning through a misty watercolored memory; back in the real world, Mary tells him, "You look like crap. When was the last time you got some sleep?" Danny VOs something about how they've been running around together since they were in their prams. Mary also mentions that someone named Greg is looking for Danny. Danny's all, "I haven't had time to return his calls." Then he mentions the whale hunt and asks Mary if "he's one of yours." Mary's all, "No, but I know a girl who dates one. He's in town. I'll talk to her." Shouldn't there be air quotes around "dates"? Danny looks not-thrilled, and then some old bald guy shows up in the background. Mary says matter-of-factly, "I gotta go." Then she puts on a sarcastically perky attitude: "He's my date for the night!" With a final pat on Danny's cowlick, Mary's off to tend to her "date."

Danny preemptively VOs, "Okay, I know what you're thinking, but don't even go there. Mary's not a hooker, she's a special events director. You want a hooker, go to the end of the bar." Well, that's what he VOs. What the closed captioning says is, "Okay, I know what you're thinking, but don't even go there. Mary's an escort, not a hooker. You want a hooker, go to the end of the bar." I love it -- first, because of the potato, potahto equivocation in the closed-captioning. Second, because of the really obvious rewriting: it's pretty clear that Mary was supposed to be in the business of negotiable affections, and then someone responsible for the show's development took a field trip to our planet and realized our primitive Earth brains would be kind of creeped out at the idea of a guy who was okay with his best friend prostituting herself in his workplace, so now she's a "special events coordinator," if by that you mean "chaste escort." Who knew there was such a demand for that kind of job in Las Vegas?

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Las Vegas

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