Danny, getting cocky again, is helping himself to one of Big Ed's cigars in Big Ed's office, and putting his feet up on Big Ed's desk again. He's thumbing through some file when Delinda walks in (as the camera pans from the picture of Delinda on Daddy's desk to the real Delinda). Danny's surprised to see her. I'm surprised he didn't hear her leather pants squeaking all the way up the stairs. He fumbles for an explanation, while she says she won't tell if he "cooperate[s]," although wasn't he in Big Ed's office before and it wasn't quite so scandalous? Anyway, she slides her leather-clad butt all over her dad's desk while grabbing at Danny's tie, and Danny feels that the fact it is his boss's, not to mention Delinda's dad's, office is kind of pertinent, but she calls it a "turn-on," and then starts listing the places they've already done it, including her kitchen counter and his "bathroom sink," like, just how big a bathroom sink does he have? "Tonight, I think I want to try my father's desk," she says. Danny's misgivings lose out to the fact that Delinda is pretty frigging hot, and he starts making out with her -- at least until he realizes that Big Ed probably has a camera in his office. Delinda keeps making with the horny, so Danny gives in, figuring that it wouldn't make much sense for Ed to watch himself. Fed up with him babbling on, Delinda tells him that the "first rule of hooking up" is "knowing when to shut up." He promises he'll be as quiet as a mouse, but she tells him he's missed his window of opportunity, and sashays on down the stairs, smirking as Danny accuses her of "totally messing" with him. All is forgotten, however, when he spies a piece of paper on Big Ed's desk that says "Desert Dreams Motel." "Gotcha," he says, smiling. But in order for him to have had Big Ed's Hummer towed, wouldn't he have already had to track him down? Or should I not point out plot inconsistencies like that?
Over at the Desert Dreams, the manager's knocking on Ed's door to inform Ed that he's being kicked out of his room, because the manager has a "whale" coming in, and Ed's in the whale's favourite suite. Ed's quite dumbfounded. "You have a whale?" The manager sighs. "Obviously you don't understand how this town works," he says, hilariously patronizingly. "In the gaming trade we cater to customers who gamble big money in our casinos. We call them 'whales.'" Ed's all, but you have ONE SLOT MACHINE in your lobby, so the manager patiently explains the whale is a "serious slot jockey" who'll pump quarters into it all night. Heh -- although this motel manager with his amazing improvisational acting skills is stretching the limits of credibility for me. He apologizes for turfing them out, but Jillian seems rather resigned. "Yep! This is a vacation I'll remember, for a long, long time," she says, even though she is not actually ON VACATION, and why she's hanging out with Ed while he tests Danny if she's going to bitch about it the whole time is still really beyond me. Ed thanks the motel manager for his "charm," then goes back inside the room, and dials directory assistance for the number for the King Charles Motel. "They always have rooms there," he tells Jillian, who seems strangely unconcerned about her husband's encyclopedic knowledge of short-notice room availability at Las Vegas's seedier accommodations. Instead, she just says, "December 19, 1777." He ignores her and starts inquiring about rooms, so she takes the phone from him and repeats the date. Don Zimmer begins his career with the Yankees? No -- George Washington moves his men to Valley Forge. "So what?" asks Ed. She leads him on, asking him why Washington did that. "Because he couldn't stop the British from taking Philadelphia, so he retreated to Valley Forge to regroup." Lesson? asks Jillian. Ed's all, oh, okay. We retreat and regroup so we can fight again. He says he just needs two more days, and Jillian starts making out with him again, presumably so he'll shut up. Then she stops abruptly. "And you think spending the winter in Valley Forge was cold?" and walks away. He calls that "not fair."