Las Vegas
What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas

Episode Report Card
Sobell: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Say Good Knight, Greggie

Anyone who's ever wanted to be a fly on the wall has clearly been aiming too low. Why not aspire to be the fly on the TV screen? The episode begins with the camera following a fly around as it alights on a golf ball. Then we see the golf ball being hit, and the camera's perspective shifts to the ball. The golf ball careens wildly all over the place, flinging itself against things and arcing up toward other targets -- golf carts, trees, lamps -- in the kind of path that would make a physics professor cry if you asked her to calculate the velocity and force necessary to pull that off.

The ball then happens to land beside Greg's still-breathing body. I kid you not: as the ball plops down in the sand beside him, you can see his arm rise and fall in time to slow, deep breaths. In any event, Greg and the golf ball are left to their own devices while two whooping golfers pilot a golf cart over in time to fortuitously discover the body. I tell you, the CSI parallels are stunning.

As the cart bounces off a rock, we see that Jessica Simpson is driving. I'm kidding! I just can't get over Newlyweds: The Nick and Jesscia Show: every week I tune in just to see how she defies natural selection and survival of the fittest. Anyway, it's two drunk guys in a golf cart. Too bad nobody's come up with CADD -- Caddies Against Drunk Driving. The guys hoot with laughter, and as one of them decides to recycle a little beer against a tree, the other stumbles off to get the ball. Both guys chorus, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!" Do people really run around chanting advertisements? I mean, in anything less than a snickering tone of irony?

Anyway, Drunkard #2 finds his golf ball. He only now notices the body because he's a few inches away from it, and it's not like a body left out in the hot Las Vegas sun for a few days would have attracted the attention of the local fly population. Drunkard #2 calls out, "I...I think you killed this guy." Drunkard #1 turns around and asks, "What?", watering the grass as he does so. Nice. Both men decide to deal with their discovery by screaming and running off.

Just then, a plane rushes overhead. We zoom by just in time to see how it's sporting the Montecito logo -- would a private casino plane have that? I thought the whole point of these planes would be the anonymity? Anyway, we have to find out that it's the Montecito's plane, because how else can we transition to an SUV with the Montecito logo on the side, and watch Danny let someone with frighteningly well-maintained mullet out of the car? Ah, business in front, party in back. How ironic that the Montecito's got exactly the opposite going on, huh?

Anyway, the man with the mullet gives the camera a greasy smile, then hops onto a golf cart that wheels him through the back corridors of the casino. A door opens, and we see Danny and the man standing there. The man is carrying a hardback book with him; maybe he's about to swear in a cocktail waitress?

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Las Vegas

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