Last Chance

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Last Chance

Warren's trying to buddy up to the guy operating the Ferris Wheel. He asks if there's any way they can make this ride a short one. The guy says it goes around fourteen times. Warren thinks that's crazy, because when he was a Ferris Wheel operator back in Reno, they'd go around six times max, leaving the customers wanting more. The guy says it's going around fourteen times, exhibiting the same diplomatic kindness you find in most carnies. Warren mentions that he's seen guys lose their pensions by letting Ferris Wheels go around fourteen times. It's scenes like this that give me a firm belief that the people who don't watch Ed are truly missing out on some of the greatest acting on television. A desperate Warren is truly a sight to behold.

Carol and Ed are talking about her upcoming trip. Carol's never traveled across the country before. Ed has, and proudly announces that he threw up in seven states, which is a pretty impressive thing to tell a girl you're trying to get to leave her boyfriend and potential fiancé. Then Ed ruins it by saying that he threw up at the four corners of the four states out west, knocking four of the states out with one vomit blast. Loser. In their car, Diane wants Mark to tell her what's going on. Mark finally admits that he's no good at competing for girls. Diane's all, "What?!" and Mark's all, "I'm gracefully bowing out of the competition," and Diane's all, "I don't think you should do that," and Mark's ears perk up like a dog's and he's all, "Huh?!" like Scooby Doo.

Meanwhile, Warren smells defeat in his quest to get some carnival coochie later on. He demands that the operator stop the ride, because a pregnant woman and a man with a pacemaker are on it. The guy says he's not stopping the ride. Warren throws the big pink bear on the ground and says that this guy is the most close-minded Ferris-Wheel operator Warren's ever encountered. Which is probably a compliment in this guy's book, considering the much-rumored behind-the-scenes talk about carnies and their wanton sex lives. These guys make Catholic priests look like monks.

Carol's talking about the sweet smell in the air, and Ed says it's honeysuckle. She says there's nothing like an early summer's eve with the smell of honeysuckle wafting through the breeze. It's like a hint of sugar in the air. Damn. It's almost like she's channeling Robert Frost on the Ferris Wheel. Ed needs to kiss Carol. Now. Kiss her now. Kiss her....shit. We now see Diane and Mark as the Ferris Wheel stops, leaving them on top. On the ground, Warren's freaking out and wants an explanation as to why the Ferris Wheel has stopped with Mark and Diane on top. Diane asks Mark whether he's ever kissed a girl on top of a Ferris Wheel. Mark says he hasn't. Diane leans over and kisses him, which prompts Warren to scream, "Move the Wheel! Move the Wheel!" He gets in the carny's face and orders him to move the wheel. The carny says it's an automatic shut-off, and that it will power back up in a minute. Warren, tasting the bittersweet effects of defeat, gives up and walks away from the ride, leaving the big stuffed pink bear that he won for Diane on the ground. A clown is seen in the distance, ready to attack Warren, but we don't actually see the attack, which is probably good because I don't think my heart could take it.

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