Australia! G'day! Unimaginative stock footage of koala bears and kangaroos. I half-expect to see a still of Paul Hogan. The Comedy Store in Sydney. Crazies in line. Alonzo says he wants to be surprised and he thinks a foreign comic will bring a different perspective and, of course, an accent. He says ladies love an accent. They also love a smooth, low, smart voice of a clean-shaven, good-lookin' dude. Alonzo. Just sayin'. Captain Australia from Sydney starts us off. He's wearing a cape and a mask made of the Australian flag. His whole schtick is the costume because when he's asked to perform, he does an unfunny bit about dating his friends' sisters. Alonzo suggests someone shoot him at the beginning of his act: if he lives, people have to listen to the rest of his jokes. The Captain exits on triumphant music. Adam Vincent of Melbourne, who is a hot dude (and I'm straight!), does one unfunny joke and one halfway-clever one about Jesus being a homeless guy undercover. Ant loves him, and the other scouts let him through. Adam whoops, loudly. Michael Akobi of Melbourne is next. He's only done this twice before. It shows. Cut to Kathleen talking about the thick accents and...you guessed it...accent montage! Those wacky Aussies!
Gina Yashere from London is next. Funny, short joke about her mother moving from Nigeria to England for the drizzly weather and subtle racism. She's in. Ant, wearing a baseball hat over his luxurious locks, says that Australian comics are wackier, but that you're not going to win by being a wacky court jester. Jimmy Lomax of Glasgow, wearing a big fake red wig and beard, does a song. It's excruciating. Mandy Hampson of Melbourne also has a big fake wig. Also not funny. Jackie Loeb of Sydney takes off her shirt. No. Andrea Powell of Melbourne dresses like an old lady. Also a no. We cut back to Jimmy Lomax, who exits wearing a fake plastic ass. Claire Hooper of Elsternwick, Australia. She does a funny joke about sign language signs she'll never need (one's about not having an arm). Kathleen loves her. She's in. Claire dances. "Davo" from Brisbane. He's not funny. At all. In fact, they stop him to tell him that, and then when he walks off, Ant tells him that they'd love to see him tonight. I have no idea what the fuck is going on with this show right now. Is Davo in or out? If he's in, how could that possibly be? Maybe Davo will have to face off against Sarah Colonna at some point and the universe will implode from the suckage. Fiona O'Loughlin from Alice Springs is next and she's as cute as her name. She jokes about being a terrible mother and wife, but seems so self-effacing that the jokes work. She's in. Lawrence Mooney of Elwood, Australia. He jokes about homophobia, and Ant loses his shit. In the good way. Mooney is in.