Doug Benson is next. More show! He mentions that he was in the semi-finals last year, too. He does a bit about going to Disneyland and ruining rides for other people. It ends with a Shrieky Asian Man Voice that I could do without. That's it. I don't really get this guy at all. He must be doing something right to keep getting in the semi-finals, but I don't think I've heard him say one remotely funny thing in this competition.
That's it! We have the results now...Bellamy preps the audience as we see five spotlights onstage. The audience favorite: Dante. Oh, jeez. With the Jack Nicholson impression that people have been trotting out for thirty-five years? Seriously? I guess Willow gets a puppy after all. I hope she learns to love that puppy, because her dad sure didn't earn it with what we saw. Next up: Gina Yashere. Good choice, that one. Ralph Harris is up next. No. I don't get that one at all. Debra DiGiovanni. Oh, man, no. Bad, bad choice. Last one: Doug Benson. For the love of fucking...NO! So, let's round up here. Four of the five choices are complete bullshit. Doug Benson is in, but no Sabrina Matthews? Fucking Dante, but no Tommy Johnagin or Dwayne Kennedy? I call bullshit. Either the editing of this show is completely wrong and we didn't see moments of comedic brilliance, or there are other forces at work here. Because four of the five comedians chosen weren't nearly as funny as some of the others. Most of them were just outright disasters. If you stop watching the show right now, I won't blame you, because it doesn't look like what we're seeing at all gibes with who should be advancing.
Montage of sad, rejected comics. Spencer Brown from Londontown is excited to go back a hero and a failure. The Bellamy asks for applause for the five finalists. Ah, fuck this shit. Hold your applause. Debra DiGiovanni is looking for a tiara and annoying the piss out of me. Ugh. I'm spent.
Next week: sixteen more comics, five more spots. I hope it turns out better. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go dull the pain with some alcohol, Hasselhoff-style.