Launch My Line

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Fashion Forewarned

After several establishing shots of the expensive fashion boutiques of Beverly Hills' Rodeo Drive, we head waaay downtown to the loft where this show was no doubt filmed. Louanna talks to her designer, Jim, about how she wants to win every single challenge. He says he's not very competitive. Good thing you went on a competition reality show then, Jim. Louanna interviews that Jim is "an amazing sewer" and "an amazing tailor," which is kind of insulting considering the fact that Jim's job here is to be an expert designer. DSquared2 walk in and greet the contestants, then slip L. Marilyn $20 so she'll interview that they're "young men." I think I've figured out what it is about DSquared2 that creeps me out: I'm 99% sure they're wearing girdles under their clothes. They inform the contestants that they now have 55 hours until the next fashion show. That's not much time, but Roberto decides to waste a few minutes of it to call out Louanna's winning dress for being a rip-off of a Calvin Klein design. Roberto, on the other hand, does "couture," which he says is "all about drama." Indeed, nothing says drama like a trench dress. Roberto says he's only criticizing to be constructive, and I'm so sure Louanna took it that way. Also, does Roberto have eyes? I'm trying to figure out why he insists on hiding them behind his sunglasses all the time. [I'm picturing something like this. - Zach]

DSquared2 say absolutely nothing about the potential drama that just unfolded, thereby ruining Roberto's efforts to make this show interesting. I'm sure he'll try again soon, though! Until then, the hosts explain the next challenge: to design a "daytime outfit for the beach" while using "trend forecasting" as inspiration. As we'll later find out, they're using like 30 other things as inspiration, too. But anyway. DSquared2 explain what trend forecasting is: there are agencies that try to figure out what the next look will be. Oh, I hate those agencies. They're always trying to tell me that pink or orange are the new "in" colors, and then all the stores have everything in pink and orange, and I can't find anything in brown. We are introduced to trend meteorologist Sally Lohan, who should have done a better job at forecasting that her last name was going to be synonymous with "trainwreck." Also, she's wearing an ugly top and loses all credibility with me. If belted floral kimono tops that make my shoulders look even broader are in, then I'll just be out of fashion yet again next year. We cut to the experts and designers listening to her -- except for Roberto, who appears to have fallen asleep while hugging a dress form. Sally Lohan works for WGSN, short for Worth Global Style Network, which kind of sounds like the empire of a James Bond villain or a cartoon terrorist organization. Like MAD from Inspector Gadget or Cobra from G. I. Joe. That and her incredibly annoying English accent (I never knew English accents could be annoying until I heard hers) make her seem a bit sinister as she tells us that earth tones and "tomahto red" will be in next year. Also, is that a picture of a lizard on her board of trend forecasts? An ugly gray lizard? How is that fashionable? Other soon-to-be-in colors include "grahss green" and plain old orange, for which she apparently could not think of a corresponding nature noun that accentuated her English accent and so left it to stand on its own. [What about marmalahde? Or do they pronounce that the same way? - Z] Sally also thinks that butterfly and jellyfish shapes will be in, because who doesn't want to look like a jellyfish? They're one of the more beautiful animals out there, no? Louanna interviews that the trend forecast colors matched the ones she picked out at the fabric store, so she is a visionary. That, or she probably read an article about the next "in" colors and ripped it off to use for herself on the show like she ripped off Calvin Klein for her dress, ha ha! DSquared2 say the contestants must use one of the trendy silhouettes and use one of the rolls of orange fabrics they suddenly have in front of them. As last night's winner, Louanna gets to pick her fabric first and choose the order that the rest of contestants will pick theirs. Oops! I guess Roberto should have kept his mouth shut after all.

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Launch My Line




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