Launch My Line

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
Bad Things Come in Threes

You guys! We're almost done! The Final Three arrive at the studio with 53 hours and 51 minutes left until the FINAL LAUNCH. They enjoy what appears to be breakfast (although it's served with mustard and ketchup, so maybe brunch?) and think about what winning will mean to them. Also, Merle makes sure to add that DJ Eric's line should have been dropped a long time ago because it's "tacky." She's not wrong, although I'm getting sick of her negativity all the time. And it takes a lot to make someone like me sick of negativity. DSquared2 arrive and call the three contestants and their designers to the catwalk to congratulate them and throw in some obviously dubbed lines. Seriously, why does Bravo suck so much at dubbing? Between this show and Padma on Top Chef, it's ridiculous. They say their final -- and most difficult -- challenge will be to create not one, not two, but THREE new outfits, most likely because they want to pad out that online store they're using to sell the winner's fashion line. Do you think the contestants or their designers will see a cent of the proceeds from online sales? I don't, either. The job is so big that it even gives Thai some concern, and he's the fastest designer there. The first outfit must include "nontraditional pockets." You mean like the ones that got Lady Jumpsuit eliminated? Oh, please say they're going to have to do versions of the season's worst outfits. I want to see more 1920s dark wool bathing suits! And pirate eyepatches! But no, the second outfit just has to include "ruffles." And the third is an evening gown. So if they just make a clownsuit into a long dress, they'll have all three requirements in one stupendous fashion statement! DSquared2 add that for the final fashion show, all of the outfits they've designed thus far will be on stage, and they can re-design or alter past designs as they see fit. That would be nice if they had that kind of time, which I don't see how they possibly will.

With that, the teams sit down in front of the catwalk and DSquared2 say they're going to have help. Merle interviews that it might be Tom Ford. Yeah, right. Actually, it's much better: all the previously eliminated experts! YES!!! ROBERTO RETURNS! And he still has his cane and a new poncho, this time in mustard yellow. Oh, and there's Coco. Apparently, she had time in between sending me long, defensive e-mails while pretending to be someone else (or maybe that really was someone else, and Coco just has an over-invested fan out there who also really hates L. Marilyn. Or maybe it's Coco's mom. Either way, it's awesome) to show up! Contestants will get two additional experts each, but the experts get to choose who they want to work with, and will pick in the order they were eliminated. Jim picks first, and takes Kathy, which I thought he would. Their personalities seem to go together the best. There's no way Roberto is picking Merle, because they hate each other. In the end, he also picks Kathy. He has some crazy things to say about Kathy's place in the "divine laws of creation" to explain his choice, even though we all know he just doesn't want to work with Merle, because she's a bitch, or DJ Eric, because he sucks. I actually think he might be a good fit for Kathy, because he also designs jewelry and integrates it into the clothes he wears, and her line is supposed to show off her jewelry. Coco picks Merle, so I hope she's developed a thicker skin since she worked with L. Marilyn. Coco explains that she didn't pick DJ Eric because she's "afraid of his chiffon." Hee hee. If only Coco didn't completely break down and become impossible in her last episode, I would still like her. Poor Tressa, who was saddled with Lady Jumpsuit, also wants Merle. Yikes! DJ Eric and Galina are not popular. They get the final two experts, Julie and Susan, and DJ Eric interviews that it doesn't feel great to be the last one chosen. I think last week's winner should have been able to choose at least one expert, by the way.

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Launch My Line




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