Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

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Next day. Enter the Yachtsman with his YachtsLawyer. "My client is not going to answer any more of your questions," says YachtsLawyer. "Things change," says Stabler. "Like the fourteen-year-old's story." An office door opens, and Jeffries parades Elaine past Yachtsman and YachtsLawyer. Today they've dressed her up in the sort of outfit you'd dress a six-year-old in on Easter. Under her swingy little sailor coat she's got on white tights and Mary Janes. It's the sort of thing Madeline would wear skipping down the street on her way to lycée. The girl couldn't look younger if you stuck a pacifier into her mouth. She turns and gives the Yachtsman an icy look. "Different, isn't it," says Stabler, "when you see the real victim, not some computer-generated image but a real child with a broken heart. At least, that's what the jury will see." "Where can we talk?" asks the Yachtsman. Damn right he should freak. If the case goes to trial, you just know they'll stick Elaine on the stand wearing footy pajamas.

Red ADA lays it out for YachtsLawyer: "Let's start with statutory rape, then we get to the lesser inclusives, which could include soliciting, sodomy, transporting a minor across state lines." YachtsLawyer won't back down: "He'll cops to one act with her, he becomes a registered sex offender, and he joins a program." "No -- he does time, or we're done talking," says Stabler. But YachtsLawyer is willing to deal, saying that Yachtsman may have the names of other men with "the same affliction." "Nine of them," she says. "He'll deliver them in person." The final deal: Yachtsman gets the maximum prison time for sex with a minor, but with six months off for every child molester he turns in that gets convicted. Only one pedophile per coupon, please. Flashers and window-peepers not valid with this offer.

The Yachtsman's in the interview room with Stabler and Benson. "How did you meet the others?" Benson asks him. "There are certain things you say that a child-lover understands that no one else would notice," says the Yachtsman. "Such as?" Stabler asks. How about: "As the manager of the band, I can tell you I'm very, very proud of those boys." The Yachtsman talks about seeing other guys by themselves at roller rinks, "watching the kids -- well, you just know," he says. Makes you think twice about the Hokey Pokey, don't it? He goes on to say that pervs will bond over G-rated movies, which they watch to get to know kids better. "Rapport is crucial," says The Yachtsman. "Like getting their sympathy with that phony story about your poor little daughter's car crash?" asks Stabler. The Yachtsman blanches. Benson continues her line of questioning: "You're talking Pocahontas, but really what you're saying is, 'Are you a pedophile too?'" "That's your term, not ours. 'Do you love children?' is what I say." Oh, yeah, go ahead and give Mr. Rogers an aneurysm right now, okay, Yachtsman? Way to go, bastard.

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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

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