Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D | 1 USERS: F
Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Olivia's watching the interrogation, when Warner walks in, saying they found Ramirez's blood is all over the apartment (he was booked on assault charges six months ago). Olivia pops into the interrogation room to pass on the info, and Freddie explains it away by saying he had a raging nose bleed at Jeremy's apartment while watching the Knicks. Anyone who watched the Knicks this season can probably sympathize. He finally admits to being shot down by Jeremy, who told him he was too young, plus he was serious about someone else. "Jeremy said the guy was really famous and still in the closet."

Olivia and Elliot are tossing out theories, while Fin and Chester let them know Freddie's and the assistant's alibis check out. "Would you miss your boyfriend's funeral?" asks Elliot rhetorically. Olivia says she would, if she were gay and in the closet. Elliot thinks you'd find a way to visit the grave when no one could see you.

So, apparently the cops install a nightvision pole cam at the cemetery. Either that or the groundskeeper wants video evidence of the zombies rising up some day. Munch does the play by play, as he explains some mystery man jumped the fence at 3 a.m. In a stroke of amazing good fortune, the camera is positioned just right to see the guy's face when he stands at Jeremy's grave. Elliot's all "holy shit! No wonder he's in the closet." "You know him?" asks Olivia. Careful, Olivia. It's Lincoln Haver, says Elliot, the best quarterback in pro football. "Pro football"? I guess the NFL wasn't going to be too quick to sign off on this product placement, huh?

"Lincoln Haver is gay? Damn!" says Fin. "I thought he was dating Natasha Gorsky, that hot supermodel!" says Chester, Chester says there have been a bunch of football players who've come out, and then he lists the only three who have ever done so. And make of this what you will, but he didn't need to look up their names or anything. "My grandfather had sex with them," he explains. Oh. The guys talk about endorsement contracts. "So some football player is gay? What's the big deal?" asks Olivia, who I think may have seen enough people hurt or killed because they were gay not to ask why this would be a big deal in the hyper-masculine professional sports world. Then again, maybe she's confused about the homophobia surrounding a sport in which teams of guys wear tight pants, bend over every single play, rub up against each other, and shower together afterwards.

Off to "practice field" of the unnamed pro football team, where a couple of players get suggestive with Olivia as she walks across the field with Elliot. They catch up with Lincoln to ask him about Jeremy Haines, who Lincoln says was his business manager. "We know he handled more than your business," says Elliot, and they show him the cemetery camera photos, and Lincoln says, "I can't talk to you here."

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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit




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