So we hop on the Chung-chung! Express, next stop: Le Poeme, on Prince Street. Benson is asking Harper how much pot she smoked last night. Harper, in an absolutely hideous red and orange turtleneck sweater, is all defensive: "Why? You think I got paranoid? Lost it?" Stabler says they're just wondering why she didn't mention smoking the joint, and Benson assures her that it's routine to the investigation. Harper's all worked up: "Smoking pot is not part of my routine! I had a job interview -- I was just trying to mellow out. Nothing that happened last night is part of my routine." Benson tells her they just have to be thorough. Harper snarks, "Great. THANK YOU for all your hard work!" and heads back inside. Now we see that the back of the sweater is even worse than the front. Holy 1991-era J. Crew stripes, Batman! Benson remarks, "That went well," as she and Stabler head over to . . .
. . . Harper's apartment at 101 Moore Street, where a locksmith is giving the super a set of keys, and Benson tells the super that the cost of changing the locks will be taken care of. The super's all, "Nothing like this has ever happened as long as I've been here. A few domestic incidents [except he says "incidences"], a dead body in the Dumpster that one time, but nothing, never like this." The super hasn't noticed anyone hanging around who doesn't belong, and suggests the detectives talk to the tenants, which leads us to . . .
. . . this week's installment of New York Stereotype Theater. And older lady is leaning on her windowsill pillow, telling Stabler and Benson that she didn't see anything, but she knows who did. She points across the street and indicates the second window on the left. Stabler and Benson turn to see a guy watching them from the other building, and the peeper drops the curtain when he sees them seeing him.
Cut to Stabler looking at the doorbell box of the peeper's building, pointing at "S.A. Lardner." Benson hangs up the Cell Phone of Plot Advancement and tells her partner that Sam Lardner has three previous collars for trespassing. Inside the apartment, Shifty Sam says he doesn't know Harper Anderson. Stabler mentions that she's single and lives alone as Shifty stands next to the TELESCOPE by the window and moves the thick black curtain aside. He points and says that Harper lives in that building, to which Lardner responds that he hardly knows the people in his own building. Benson's all conversational, "Really? It's a great apartment, with red walls. It's just there on the third floor." "Uh, second," corrects Lardner. Busted! Stabler says, "So you do know it." Lardner tries to recover by saying that they just described it to him. Benson asks if he was watching Harper last night; he says no. Stabler asks if he got tired of watching, and hands off to Benson, who asks Lardner if he "took a stroll across the street." Lardner finally catches his snap (tm gwen) and says, "No. Wait, wait, wait. I was here and I saw everything." He wonders if he needs a lawyer before answering questions. "What, for being a Peeping Tom?" asks Stabler. "No, just a good shrink." Word, honey. Lardner walks toward the window as he tells is story. "I saw this guy climbing the fire escape. The previous tenant had broken the lock on the window. She was laying there, asleep. Then she woke up, and he pulled the gown up over her eyes. Um, she . . ." "She what?" prompts Benson. "She doesn't wear underwear when she sleeps." At this, Benson and Stabler give each other "well, DUH" looks, like they just realized that Harper must have gone away to college and gotten the Freshman Dorm Female Hygiene Lecture. Lardner continues, "He raped her. On the bed. Then he took her into the bathroom." Stabler asks why Lardner didn't call the police, but Lardner just shakes his head like he doesn't know. Benson asks what happened next, but Lardner couldn't see. Fine, what did he look like, then? Lardner insists that he really didn't see the guy. Stabler gets in his face. "You can see a broken lock, you can see a nightgown, but you can't see the rapist's face." Lardner's all ashamed: "I wasn't looking at him. Not at him. What are you gonna do to me?" Benson says, "The same thing you did for her," and she and Stabler leave. Ooh, burn! Not.