Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Episode Report Card
Pooh: A+ | 1 USERS: A+

NBC, you can use Nicole's theme song, "Easy (Like Sunday Morning)" in your ads all you want, but she's still gonna hate Third Watch. You can even do a Third Watch promo spot of the fire station, using her other theme song, "Brick House," but it won't change anything either. That show sucks so hard it makes me lactate.

After the break, we come back to a title card that reads "SIX MONTHS LATER." It's night in the squad room, and Benson is all dolled up, walking back to her desk and zipping up her makeup bag. Cassidy sits at his desk and watches her over his shoulder. He tells her she looks nice, in a tone that makes it obvious he wishes he were the one going out with her. She thanks him for the compliment and goes around the desk to use Stabler's computer monitor as a mirror while putting on her lipstick. Five years later, when she's done applying the last coat, Cassidy asks her if she's going out; she is. He immaturely remarks that she didn't have time for a relationship six months ago. She's all, "Oh, come on, Bri. It's not you." Cassidy doesn't believe her, so she explains, "No, it's a personal policy. You don't fall in love with the people you work with, no matter how good the sex was." Is this woman insane? Has she LOOKED at Cassidy and Stabler lately? For these two, you make exceptions. I mean, really. Cassidy asks if she means that she's now in love. She laughs that if she's lucky, she is. He says she'll be bored; she says she'll still have her job. He's got a point to make, though: "Yeah, well, whoever you marry --" "-- IF I get married," she interrupts. "Whatever, you will," he continues. "As long as you have this job, your marriage will be an affair." Benson gives him a "whatever" look as he walks away. Cragen calls her into his office because he has something he thinks she'll be very interested to hear. Inside his office, he introduces her to a Detective Halligan from the Robbery squad of the three-one. Halligan just told Cragen that four days ago, a guy broke into an apartment and found a woman there alone. He was wearing a mask and told the woman he had a gun. He hit her a few times and pushed her down onto the bed, but he said "please" and things like that. Benson straightens at this bit of information. Turns out the woman had a gun hidden under her mattress, and when she pulled the gun on him and turned on the light, she saw that what he was holding was actually her curling iron. "It's Harper's guy!" says the Great Lipsticked One. Cragen pisses in the bowl of Corn Flakes he's just poured for her: "Maybe." Benson tells Halligan about Harper's case, and asks if the latest victim shot the guy. Nope: "She froze up. The guy stumbles down the stairs; last she sees he's limping down the street. That when we picked him up." Benson asks if the vic could ID this guy. Halligan shakes his head. "We even had her close her eyes, had the guy saying, 'Please.' Nothing." Benson asks where the guy is now. "Out," says Halligan. "Out?" Benson repeats. Cragen tells her as he hands her the case file that the guy they picked up didn't have any gloves on him, but he does have great lawyer. "That's just it," says Halligan. "This West Village guy has enough money that he has a lawyer on a retainer. Why the B&E?" Benson's looking at the file and pointing out the similarities to Harper's case: "This is the same neighborhood as Harper -- TriBeCa -- same MO, he came off the fire escape, used a curling iron instead of a gun, said 'please.'" Cragen mentions the mask; the guy's getting better. Halligan reminds them that he didn't rape this woman, Jane Tyler. Benson knows "in her gut" that it's the same guy. Halligan points to the guy's address in the file. Cragen says they'll need a positive ID from Harper, but before they bring the guy in he wants Benson to get a statement from Jane Tyler to make sure the MO matches up as much as they think it does, especially since there is no forensic evidence. Benson nods and goes to get the statement. Cragen tells her it can wait till morning, but Benson figures Jane Tyler isn't sleeping anyway and leaves.

Chung-chung! We're at the apartment of Jane Tyler, and it's May third. Jane is a pretty woman with curly blonde hair and a nasty shiner on her left eye and cheekbone. She's in the middle of her statement: "And I'm sitting there holding this gun on him, and I can't -- even after everything he did to me, I can't pull the trigger." Benson tells her it's okay. Jane tells her that he took her father's watch. Her father's name, Leo, was engraved on it. Benson says that wasn't in Jane's police report. Jane says, "I know. They got here and I couldn't talk." Benson asks what else Jane left out of the report. Jane bursts into tears and puts her head in her hand. Benson sits next to her on the couch and asks if she was raped. Jane nods and sobs. He didn't use a condom, but Jane can't bring herself to say what we all know, so Benson asks, "Did he ejaculate on your stomach?" Jane answers in the affirmative and tells the rest: "Then he made me take a shower. I told the police I'd just gotten out of the shower when I found him." Benson asks why neither the rape nor the stolen watch is in the report. "The police were touching everything, looking for fingerprints, and I wanted them gone. It was so embarrassing. He kept saying, 'Isn't this the way you like it?' when he was -- pushing inside of me. I bought that gun for self-protection, and I didn't even --" She can't continue and just shakes her head in disappointment at herself. Benson knows what's up: "Jane, you did the one thing you're supposed to do when somebody threatens you: survive." WORD. Jane just cries some more.

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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit




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