But the detectives are going to Madison Square Garden instead of the gym, because in an amazing coincidence, Mike Kona is fighting in a championship bout that very night! Well, maybe it's not that coincidental. I believe UFC has thirty-seven championship bouts a year. Mike Kona's whaling on some guy in the dodecagon when Chester and Fin arrive, and there's a pneumatic blond yelling "Kill him!" in the crowd. This would be Coco, also known as Mrs. Ice-T, and Mike Kona is played by some real Ultimate Fighter guy who I could look up if I thought it mattered. Kona wins, climbs on top of the fence surrounding the convex pentagon, and yells at Mrs. Ice-T that he loves her, and she deploys her breasts like a train's cowcatcher to make her way through the crowd to stand by her man. Chester flashes his badge at Kona's bodyguard, but he's less than impressed. Maybe if you drop a little Naptime science on him, Chester! Kona wants the detectives to cut him some slack since he just won a championship bout, and Fin mentions Julie Donovan, deflating Kona, who agrees to come with the detectives. Mrs. Ice-T glares after them.
In an interrogation room, Kona claims to not know Julie, and Chester wants to know how it is that Kona's semen got into her then. Chester tries the whole man-to-man male bonding thing to get Kona to open up, and says the facts make it hard for Chester to believe Kona's story, especially since he was charged with raping Tracey Bell last year. Kona says he didn't rape either of them. Certainly not Tracey: "She's my fiancée." I'm convinced, because it's not possible to rape your girlfriend/fiancée/wife, right?
Naturally, Fin's interviewing Chester, so Mr. and Mrs. Ice-T face off on the small screen for the first time (that I know of)! Remember when Heat came out, and it was a big deal because De Niro and Pacino were acting opposite each other in the first time ever? Well, multiply that by a million, and that's how much of a big deal this is. She explains that the supposed rape was a misunderstanding, that someone misunderstood her drunken screams of passion. She explains (well, brags) that she dropped the rape charge because Kona bought her a big fat diamond ring, then somehow manages to take umbrage when she thinks Fin called her a gold digger. It doesn't matter to her if Kona messes around, as long as she's number one. She doesn't recognize the picture of Julie Donovan, but then she hasn't checked the tape in a while.













Comments