Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Episode Report Card
Wendola: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Misleader

Interrogation room. Dr. Holy. Holy Junior. Cap'n Cragen. Ready to rumble! Holy Junior tries to play dumb. Dr. Holy cranks his halo up to 200 watts. The lawyers flail about. Cragen lets in Jeffries to kick some white Republican ass. She comes in carrying her trademark Manila Folder of Destruction. "These are the lab results," she tells Holy Junior. "Your wife's throttled neck and a piece of skin from under your finger? Perfect match." Holy Junior stammers. Jeffries goes on, "And these are the DNA results from semen found in Sylvia. Also a match." Now Holy Junior is confused as the dreaded Folder gets passed around to the lawyers. "What the hell's going on here?" he asks. "Ask your father," says Cragen. "It's his sperm." A nation goes ew! The truth dawns slooowwly on Holy Junior. "My . . . father?" He turns to Dr. Holy. "YOU!?" Dr. Holy flinches. Holy Junior gives his statement: he'd been suspicious, he'd traveled to New York and gone to Sylvia's room where she'd laughed at him; he became overwhelmed by the thought of his own wussiness, snapped, and attacked her. He breaks down crying and Cragen shuts off the tape recorder. "We can finish this later," he says. As Holy Junior is escorted out, he shouts at Dr. Holy, "To think I came to you to fix this!" Dr. Holy just sits there with his hands clasped and his nostrils flaring with the wrath of the Lord.

Cragen holds open the door as Mrs. Holy floats in. "Sharon -- did you hear? Poor Ben," says Dr. Holy. Mrs. Holy glares at him. "Protecting me from the truth?" she says. "How thoughtful of you. How Christian." But Dr. Holy is still giving his sermon on Mt. Denial. "What are you talking about?" "It's not something the medical examiner would easily miss," says Cragen. He tosses Destructo-Folder at Dr. Holy. "What were you going to call him?" asks Mrs. Holy. "Son? Ben the Third?" How about like, "Brother Holy Junior Junior?" Mrs. Holy stares Dr. H down. "Two years of watching my husband -- my soon-to-be-former husband -- fornicating with my son's wife." My personal rating of this episode goes up a few points for the use of the word "fornicating." Dr. Holy stands up and reaches out to Mrs. Holy, but she turns on her heel and storms out. Cragen looks across the room at the scene. All this sin befuddles him. Dr. Holy squirms under his mustache. Amen.

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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

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