Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

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In the interrogation room, Red Cap gleefully admits to Munch and Jeffries that he broke into the rooms because he used to work as a programmer for the company that makes all those key-cards, and he was fired because he objected to the way they made hotel rooms and safes easier to break into than a wet paper bag, and he just wanted to make a point, and he has all the stolen goods neatly catalogued in his apartment ready to return. Clunk! That's the sound of his lawyer shitting a two-hundred-pound brick.

Munch and Jeffries decide to go "bad cop," ooh, and tease Red Cap about his underwear fetish. "I realized that's just who I am!" says Red Cap proudly. My, he's got spunk! But when Munch and Jeffries accuse him of the rape/murder, he denies it: "No! I wouldn't hurt anyone -- I'm not wired for that!" "'Boxing the clown' into women's underwear -- that's pretty freaky," says Munch. Mommy, where's the clown? That man on TV just said there was a clown! Red Cap gives his alibi: Sunday night he was at the SoHo East stealing the diamond-studded dog collar off a terrier left in someone's room. "Cute dog," he says. Sick puppy.

The SVU tells Dr. Holy and Holy Junior that they've caught the wrong guy. Holy Junior raises holy terror, then he and his dad go holy-rolling out the door. "I hope you've got some ideas." Cragen tells the squad. "Maybe Sylvia was having an affair," says Benson, and excuse me, but I need to take a moment to point out that if she keeps wearing sweaters as clingy as the one she has on in this scene, we're going to have to start calling her "Detective Bosom." Maybe the problem is just that her bra isn't quite fitting right and she has a slight case of "bifocal boob" (tm Sars). Hey, it happens to everyone. Anyway. "Why else wouldn't Sylvia tell her husband she was pregnant?" she wonders. Jeffries agrees with the affair theory, since there was no sign of a struggle -- as if the victim felt guilty or even knew her attacker. Munch speculates that Sylvia "isn't quite as family-oriented" as Dr. Holy and Junior. Maybe she was trying to get herself kicked off 7th Heaven.

Back at the hotel, the room service manager tells Benson and Stabler that Sylvia was "a pain in the ass" and kept ordering hors d'oeuvres all the time. He and one of the waiters agree that she could have had someone else up in the room with her, since the bathroom door was always closed whenever she let the waiter in. And apparently on Saturday night she went down to the hotel bar because she couldn't get her mini-bar restocked. Man, that IS wild. Do you know how much they charge for those little bags of chips? "People do all sorts of things in hotels," smirks Mr. Manager McDuh. Stabler 'n' Benson talk to the hotel bartender, who says Sylvia was there Saturday night with a guy: "It looks like they worked together, and she was laying it on pretty thick." Cue standard bartender monologue: I see it all the time blah blah blah women with their martinis trying to lose control blah blah blah sing us a song you're the piano man. The story is that she left the bar drunk with -- Brad Weber.

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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

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