Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Episode Report Card
Wendola: A+ | 469 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Nocturne

The window into the interrogation room shows Holt and his lawyer conferring, like some wax exhibit of Great Moments in Criminal Law. Outside, Stabler and Benson talk with Cap'n Cragen. Stabler is trying to justify the arrest to Cragen: "Because when there's one photo, there's a hundred more." Cragen doesn't think the open bottle is even enough for "EWC," which stands for Endangering the Welfare of a Child (as opposed to "EW" which is, well, the usual charge.) "You jumped the gun!" Cragen bitches. Benson maintains that they didn't have a choice, since Holt knew they were detectives, and if there are other photos, he would've gone straight home and destroyed them. "There's nothing in these photos that we could do anything about," Cragen says, and walks off. In the interrogation room background we can still see Holt moving around stiffly, like some freaky animatronic figure at DisneyWorld. It's a sick world after all.

Stabler follows Cragen down the hall to argue about the photos. Stabler thinks the kid is wearing "hot pants in the middle of winter." As if one could simply go to any Kids R Us and pick up a sexy little outfit from OshKosh's "Li'l Go-Go Boy" collection. "They're shorts," insists Cragen. Benson joins them in the station office, along with ADA -- uh, I don't know the name of this ADA guy. The actor's name is Benjamin Hickey and at one point Cragen calls him "Mark," so let's call him "ADA Hickey Mark." Anyway, Stabler argues some more about the picture: "Someone had to tell that kid to drop his chin and smile. That's not normal." "Unless you're in a beauty pageant!" says Cragen. "It's a boy." says Stabler. "How many boys do you know go JonBenet?" It turns out that Holt is a piano teacher and the kid is his student. "These are sexualized photos," says Stabler. "Pedophiles keep evidence of their sexual acts. I KNOW there are more photos in Holt's apartment." "I suppose you want a warrant based on your ESP," quips ADA Hickey. Stabler puts his fingers to his forehead like a psychic. "Yeah, I do," he says. Take off your shirt. Take off your shirt. Take off your shirt. Take off -- oop, sorry. I was transmitting a telepathic message to Stabler. Where was I? Oh yeah. Cragen and the ADA point out that this is "post-McMartin" (referring to that sex-abuse trial that lasted a gazillion years and had scanty evidence to begin with), and that a judge is likely to throw out the arrest at the arraignment. Meanwhile, Holt's lawyer, a big bag of snot in a business suit, creeps into the office. Insert Whiny Defense Lawyer dialogue here. He whines that he wants his client's house keys. Cragen wants to know why. Barrister McSnot replies sarcastically, "I need to feed the dog." A bunch of dirty photos, that is. "The dog will be fine," says Cragen. The lawyer slithers off to get the keys from the property clerk, but those wacky detectives haven't turned them in yet!

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

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