Chung-chung! Hospital. Tazmin's mom: divorced, bitter. Stabler, Benson ask mom about Tazmin. Mom sobs "Teresa is her Christian name!" Useless details. Everything is the dad's fault. Tazmin's still in a coma. The life-support monitors go "beep, beep," and all that.
In the courtroom, Jeffries sits on the witness stand. As usual, it's time for her to say something truly kick-ass and memorable. She turns to the judge. "You can do it," she says. "Nicorette can help." All right, so she didn't say that. She actually testified against some creepy guy with a creepy collection of rape-themed comic books and it was really depressing. But, see, the same actress who plays Jeffries is also the voice of the Nicorette gum commercials. ["I thought it was Elizabeth Olivet's voice. But I still smoke, so what do I know?" -- Sars] And, after smoking my ass off with Sars and the gang in Vegas, I'm chewing Nicorette right now. So I think that counts for something, right?
Chung-chung to the penthouse apartment of Hampton Trill. "Excuse the mess," says Bret Hampton Trillis as he leads Munch and Cassidy out on a fancy-ass terrace littered with bottles and wine glasses. He's wearing a blue kimono. Be a pretentious assface. Or, just look like one. Hampton says he and Tazmin "had lunch a few times" but he didn't answer the phone the night she called because "there were like, two hundred people at this party." Cassidy asks him about what kind of a party it was. "Well, you know," says Hampton, all blasé. "One of those things where the literati and the glitterati size each other up over cosmopolitans and sashimi." Munch and Cassidy glare and wish they could hit him in the face with a big wad of spitterati. Hampton says the party was for his new novel. "Yeah, I read the review in the Times," says Munch. Bret Hampton says Tazmin showed up at the party pretty late, but quickly changes the subject. "Look, I never read reviews, but you should know that Kakatuni's had it in for me ever since that she decided that one of my characters was based on her." "Who, the book reviewer in Manhattan Siesta? There's no resemblance," says Munch. "Actually, it's Manhattan SONATA," says Hampton coldly. "'Siesta' as in 'Snoozefest,'" says Munch. "The real question is how so many reviewers failed to notice your blatant theft of Joan Didion." Hampton rolls his eyes: "Joan Didion is a close friend." "The poor woman," says Munch. Cassidy just stands there with a sweet expression that says, "I read book once. It fun."
Anyway, Hampton says it's possible that Tazmin could have come to the party to score drugs, since apparently her doctor or shrink or someone had offices in the same building, and the doctors all just show up at Hampton's fabulous parties. Munch gives Hampton his card. "Let me know if you think of anything else," he says. Hampton asks him what he means about his book reviewer character. "No resemblance because I failed to capture her, or no resemblance because it was a different character?" Uh, Hampton? I think Munch meant "let me know if you think of anything else -- besides yourself."