Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

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Daniel: B- | 1 USERS: D+
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A group named Eco Friendly New York has arrived at a particularly garbage-strewn portion of the East River to clean it up, and also, in the case of one eco-friendly New Yorker, hopefully get laid (he won't). Someone should probably tell Dick Wolf that NBC's Green Week is long over, so his half-assed contribution is no longer necessary. Using long tools to pull garbage out of the water, one of the volunteers shakes her head at people using the river as a garbage dump. "People just don't know how easy it is to be green," commiserates the other. Maybe that's because that bitch Kermit is always saying just the opposite. I was kind of hoping a giant monster would be hanging from the underside of the bridge, like in The Host, but no dice. It's just your everyday dead body tied up in a garbage bag. New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down.

Later, Warner's on the scene -- the victim is an African-American teenager who was dead before she was tossed in the water. She's been bound with cable. Water would have washed away any fluids, so they don't know if she was raped, but she was abused; there's "significant genital scarring."

Nearby, a detective has found...another body? Some guy lying in a car park. Elliot searches his pockets, doesn't find any ID, but gets a fistful of knuckles when the guy wakes up, slugs Elliot, and takes off running. Elliot chases while Olivia tries to cut him off, and then the dude seems to freak out as he's climbing a fence: he falls off, and he's out cold. "Hope he lives long enough to confess," says Olivia. Elliot raises his eyebrows. "Either way," say the eyebrows.

The dude wakes up handcuffed to a hospital bed, and, after running his prints, the detectives know his name: Jesse. And he's got a history of picking up hookers. Given the scratches on his hands and face, the detectives think a little assignation might have gotten out of hand. Jesse claims he doesn't remember anything. "She was so beautiful. I have a weakness for young women. I killed her?" He definitely isn't sure about that last bit, but the detectives are ready to wrap this one up. Too bad for them, because after they tell the doctor they need Jesse transferred to the prison ward at Bellevue, she explains that Jesse's got epilepsy, the side effects of which include blackouts, being highly prone to suggestion (Jesse calls out from his room: "Yes, I am highly prone to suggestion!"), and punching cops named Elliot. Well, maybe that last one's more of a perk than a side effect. Elliot's not impressed. After all, he doesn't tell the doctor how to treat patients, and he won't accept the doctor telling him how to scare innocent people into confessing to crimes they didn't commit, and Stabler wants the guy transferred anyway.

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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

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