Life As We Know It
Pilot

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Pilot

Ben throws rocks at a street sign while he waits for the bus. Miss Young pulls up in her VW Bug and gives Ben shit for destroying public property. She adds that he put her in a bad position, because she's supposed to report students breaking the rules. Ben asks if she reported him. Miss Young says that it hasn't been that long since she was the one sneaking beers. Why doesn't she just wear a shirt that reads "Tell me I'm not old, because I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm starting to realize I'm not in high school anymore!" Yuck. Ben makes jokes, and Miss Young laughs and offers him a ride. Ben freezeyells, "Get in the damn car!" He accepts the ride and hops in, and then watches Miss Young shifting gears. Sexy!

Dino sits in the kitchen and sulkily watches his mom making dinner. When she gets close enough, he reaches over and snaps her bra. Dude, who snaps their mom's bra? Even if she is having an affair with your hockey coach. Dino's mom yells, and Dino says, "I bet you wouldn't care if Coach Scott did it." Dino's mom tries to pretend she doesn't know what he's talking about, and Dino's dad walks in and asks what they're talking about. Dino's mom gives Dino a death stare, and Dino covers for her. Dino's dad says it would be great if Coach Scott let them practice in the afternoon, and Dino snipes, "I think he's busy in the afternoon." Burn! Dino's mom excuses herself, saying that she feels sick and that she'll be skipping the carnival tonight. Dino also makes an excuse to get out of it. Dino's dad says he really needs Dino, and Dino pitches a fit.

The Trio walks through the carnival. The other guys ask what Dino's problem is, and he says there's nothing wrong, although he admits that he forgot to get the wine. Jonathan picks the worst time ever to ask the guys if they'd rather have sex with Ben's mom or Dino's mom. It's not even a good question, because each guy would just pick the other guy's mom. Dino gets all pissed off and runs away. Jonathan spots Deborah and runs the other way.

Dino goes to Jackie's house. Jackie is quite wealthy, or her parents are. Dino stops outside and spots Jackie primping in the mirror. Dino freezecries that he wishes he'd never seen his mom, and that now his parents will break up and his dad will move out, even though it's not his dad's fault. Dino blames his mom for everything. Jackie walks outside and finds Dino sitting on the steps crying. She asks him what's wrong and Dino mumbles an apology and runs away.

Ben stalker-spies on Miss Young. He freezetalks that he doesn't know whether he should make a move on her, but that it's killing him. Ben notices Miss Young slip behind her booth, and joins her. She's lighting up a cigarette, which she quickly drops when he says hello. Ben cracks a joke, and she warms up to him and walks closer. Ben promises that he hasn't told anyone about their "little flashing incident." Miss Young is surprised he didn't tell the rest of the Trio, and says that she trusts him. She walks even closer, all sexy-like. And unprofessional-like. Ben says that he's "pretty good at keeping secrets" and that he likes "knowing things nobody else knows." Miss Young smiles and purrs that it's good to know. Ben asks if he gets extra credit, and Miss Young says she should get back. Ben grabs her arm and asks her to stay for a minute. They lean in for a kiss. Before their lips can touch, a car's headlights illuminate them and they break apart. Miss Young heads back to her booth, but not before a few meaningful looks. I'm so old that I'm just disgusted with her. She should know better!

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Life As We Know It

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