Life As We Know It
Pilot Junior

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Pilot Junior

The rest of The Trio jumps into frame as soon as Jackie leaves; they want to know what happened with Jackie the night before. Dino lies that Jackie backed down from having sex. Ben accuses Dino of acting weird, and Dino says he got in a fight with his parents. After they make fun of Jonathan, Dino's dad pulls up and tells Dino to be home in an hour, because they have some things to do before his parents go away for the weekend. Ben and Jonathan are excited to hear that Dino's parents are going out of town. Dino insists that he needs to talk to Jackie alone. Ben and Jonathan point out that Dino made both of them have parties when their parents went out of town. Dino reminds them that their houses got trashed. Ben and Jonathan promise to take care of everything. After more urging, Dino gives in, thinking that maybe things will go better with Jackie if everyone is having a good time. Yeah, that'll happen. Jonathan uses this opportunity to say something about how great things are with Deborah, and Ben uses the opportunity to make a fat joke. Jonathan points out that he'll be getting some, while Ben will be alone. Ben insists that he'll be getting some tonight too. Jonathan wants everyone to high five over getting some, but his friends just walk away.

Jonathan listens to music on his headphones at his house, while his parents read the paper in the background. He gets online and sends out an IM to invite everyone to Dino's party. Everyone responds in the affirmative, and Jonathan grins.

In the car, Dino asks his dad if he's going to bring some dirty movies along this weekend to "see if the old dog can still hunt." Ew! Who wants to know that about their parents? Dino says he's happy for his parents. His dad asks if Dino is curious about sex. He's a teenage boy. Of course he's curious about sex. Dino acts offended as his father offers to answer any questions. Dino insists that he's got it under control. His dad asks if Dino and Jackie are doing it. His dad brings up first base and second base and so forth and Dino calls him "Fonzie." Dino tries to redefine the bases, and then admits that no one really talks like that anymore. Before they can get anymore intimate, Dino turns up the radio, and his dad looks incredibly relieved.

Jonathan shaves in the bathroom, wearing only a towel. Man, look at those abs! Jonathan totally has a washboard stomach. Who knew? His mom knocks on the door and asks if he's okay, and his dad comes by and comments that Jonathan is probably masturbating. Jonathan yells that he can hear them and tells them to go away. His dad tells Jonathan to take his time, and shoos Jonathan's mom away. Jonathan freezetalks that his parents always think he's masturbating, and admits that they're usually right. He looks down and says that every time he thinks about Deborah, he gets a boner. He undoes his towel and looks alarmed because he spots a lump on his penis.

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Life As We Know It

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