Life As We Know It
Pilot Junior

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Pilot Junior

Deborah walks up and asks if Ben has seen Jonathan. Ben is surprised that Jonathan isn't there. Deborah starts to talk to Ben about her relationship, and sits next to him on the couch. Deborah says that she knows that they give Jonathan crap about her being fat and all. Ben lies that he thinks Jonathan is lucky to have her, and Deborah calls him on being full of crap. Ben laughs, and admits that he's busted.

Dino takes out his phone again. Jackie asks who he's been calling all night, and claims that he's avoiding her. Dino says that she's the one who's avoiding him. Cue high-school relationship fight #27. Jackie asks what happened to their quiet evening. Dino says that he can't talk to her now. They get into what they're really arguing about here. Jackie is pissed that Dino pressured her for sex, and then bailed when she gave in. Dino is pissed that she didn't give in until he stopped asking. Jackie thought she could trust him, but feels that she was wrong. Jackie yells that Dino's supposed to "act all weird and distant after [he] gets sex," not before. Jackie stomps off. Topher wanders up and makes some comment about how people can't stand hot chicks. Who is this guy? Should I care about him? I don't.

Dino's mom and dad are still fighting. Dad says he has to care about his job because he's afraid he's going to lose it. Mom asks if he's having an affair, like, projecting much? Dad points out that people having affairs stay late at the office, they don't bring work home. Mom points out that he's a fun dad, but that he and she don't have fun together anymore. Dad says that he wants to "maul" his kids, which doesn't seem like the right word choice there. He doesn't think that Mom ever wants a hug. She asks if she always has to make the first move. He wonders when that's happened, and she says that it happened ten minutes earlier. Dad says it was two months of a dry spell before that. It always comes back to sex, doesn't it? The doorbell interrupts them. The cast of Revenge of the Nerds is on the doorstep, looking for the party. Seriously, could they not get decent extras that actually look like teenagers? Mom slams the door in their faces. Dino's parents realize that he was planning a party. Mom says she's going to bed. Dad sighs.

Dino tries to call his parents. Dad listens to the message, where Dino says that he hopes he's not interrupting anything. Ew. Again, who hopes their parents are doing it? Dad looks guilty.

Ben and Deborah sit on the couch and bond over Trainspotting, which seems like a dated reference. Jonathan shows up, and Deborah says she's going to kick his ass. Ben agrees that she kicks ass, and Deborah asks him to quit with the fat jokes. Jonathan makes to hug Deborah, and she pushes him away since he made her wait around for so long. Jonathan hands her a bouquet of flowers, and Deborah is so psyched that she starts making out with him right there. Jonathan reaches behind him to get a low five from Ben.

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Life As We Know It

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