Life on Mars

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Mr. Sobell: B- | Grade It Now!
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Mama Mia!

That little mind-tweak out of the way, Sam begins the long walk to the 125th Precinct passing a gaggle of children playing on the sidewalk. One little girl comes up behind Sam on a bicycle, singing the Sandman song -- again, not the Metallica version, but rather the one Sam's mother was singing just a little while ago. "Hey!" Sam shouts and he chases after the little girl. Remind me to have a talk later, Tyler, about "Proportional Responses" and how to use them not to freak the hell out of passersby. Sam is unable to catch up to the little girl... conveniently, however, his only-a-wee-bit-unsettling pursuit takes him right past the woman in the red dress from earlier. Any doubt that she's Sam mother is immediately removed by the soundtrack which helpful kicks into Paul Simon's "Mother and Child Reunion." Your subtlety is admirable, Life on Mars music supervisor. Anyhow, Sam's mom is arguing with a guy who looks like a younger, slightly thinner, more mobbed-up version of Nathan Lane. Goodfellas Nathan Lane decides that further discussion will prove pointless and begins to shove his debate opponent into a waiting sedan. That captures Sam's attention -- he identifies himself as a cop and suggests that Goodfellas Nathan Lane unhand that lady. Goodfellas Nathan Lane smarts back, and Sam shows that he's learned a trick or two about 1973 police tactics by spinning Goodfellas Nathan Lane around, slamming him onto the sedan and cuffing him. Goodfellas Nathan Lane seethes -- now he's going to be late for that revival cast performance of Guys and Dolls! Sam goes to attend to the quivering damsel and distress, only to notice for the first time that he's staring back at his mother with 35 fewer years on the odometer. "Mom?" he says, shocked. To her credit, Sam's mom doesn't responded with an equally disbelieving "Weirdo?"

Off to the 125, where Sam leads the still-handcuffed Goodfellas Nathan Lane past the other detectives who seem shocked at who Sam's got collared and not just because they loved his work in The Birdcage. Turns out Goodfellas Nathan Lane is actually named Nick Profaci, and he's a familiar face to many of the detectives in the 125th Precinct. But Sam is just a little bit to thick to notice Skelton's attempts to get is attention; instead, he whisks 1973 Mom off to a hallway to try and convince her to press charges against Profaci. 1973 Mom -- we'll call her Rose, since that's her name -- protests that there wasn't anything untoward going on: heated arguments and shoving are signs of vigorous and healthy debate in our time, detective. "I don't want to be here," Rose protests. "I don't want to be here either," Sam says with just a touch too much desperation. "That's why I really need to talk to you." After his piercing stare merely serves to further unnerve her, Sam excuses himself to go check on Profaci, who has been uncuffed and relocated to Hunt's office, where he, Hunt, and Carling are enjoying a good laugh over a ribald story and a stiff belt of scotch. Sam looks around the room in disbelief -- so, uh, you guys all know each other then? "He's my prisoner," Sam says. "When he's done with his drink," Hunt says. A complementary cocktail... is that part of your Miranda rights? Anyhow, Hunt and Carling go back to kibitzing with Profaci, while Annie pokes her head into the office to inform Sam that Rose has flown the coop. Can't anyone stay where they're suppose to in this precinct? Sam runs out of the station house, alternately calling "Rose!" and "Mom!" as Paul Simon plays us out to the opening credits. I guess that mother-and-child reunion will have to wait until after the break.

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Life on Mars

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