Life on Mars

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Mr. Sobell: B- | Grade It Now!
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Mama Mia!

If you're a fan of passive policework, Annie's "solve-the-murders" theory is already paying dividends. Sam is just sitting idly around his apartment when there's a knock on the door -- it's Adrienne, one of the floozies we met earlier , and she's got a suitcase in her hand and a mouse on her eye courtesy of the ever-charming Mr. Profaci. "Nicky was drunk," Adrienne explains. "I wasn't interested. Apparently, I'm supposed to always be interested." And so here she is at Sam's door, since he's the only cop not on the Casso payroll. Speaking of that, how does Adrienne happen to know where Sam lived? Because his address is on a notepad on Casso's desk, she explains. And she just needs a place to crash for the night, and the apartment of the guy who actually stood up to Elliot Casso seems as good a place as any. Well, in that case, come on in, little lady. You know we have a clothing-optional policy in this apartment building, right?

And so begins the sexiest episode of The Odd Couple ever. Adrienne is flitting about the apartment trying to act all flirty with Sam; he is making her a grilled cheese sandwich with an iron. He asks how a nice girl like her got mixed up with a creep like Casso; she explains, after protesting that Sam is getting too "heavy," that her dad was into Casso for a large sum of dosch, and that debt wound up erased once she started hanging around the club. So by that logic, Rose's problems with Profaci would disappear if Li'l Sam started... you know, even I'm not a big enough bastard to go there. Anyhow, Adrienne would like to know if Sam's interested in a little throw-down -- he is not, or at least, he's too much of a gentleman to take her up on the offer. It is worth noting that Adrienne is now observing the clothing-optional policy I mentioned earlier.

This is the precise moment that the phone rings. It's Annie, wondering why Sam has stood her up. To his credit, Sam manages to dance around the "Why didn't you show tonight?" questions without resorting to the accurate-if-awkward response of "Because there's a topless woman cavorting around my apartment right now." Instead, there's a bunch of working-the-case blah-de-blah and an abrupt farewell. Sam tells Adrienne that he's just going to sleep in his easy chair tonight. Adrienne finds that hard to believe. Sam concedes that it's not his immediate preference. "But I'm sort of involved with someone at the moment," he says, almost apologetically. "Have her join us then," Adrienne offers brightly. That might prove to be physically difficult, dear. To bed then, with this thought from Sam to usher in the night terrors: "It's a beautiful, wonderful life, Adrienne. Too beautiful to waste in a rusty cage working for a man like that."

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Life on Mars

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