Life on Mars

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: B | Grade It Now!
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You Better Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

As they leave the interrogation room, Sam catches up to Hunt and protests that everyone knows that money wasn't part of the check-cashing robberies. "Yeah," snorts Carling. "And Row vs. Wade ain't really two options when you find yourself in a river." "What does that even mean?" a confused Sam asks, speaking for all of us. "That's an analogy," Carling says. It is many things, friend, but an analogy it is not. Sam has another phrase for it: tampering with evidence, and he's not going to stand for it, by gum. June, who has been tagging after this trio, suddenly pipes up and asks if there's any physical evidence linking Trent to the robberies. "Aren't you the eager beaver?" Hunt tells her, just a shade too patronizingly. "Now that was an analogy," Carling says. No. No, it really wasn't. June persists, however, asking if there's evidence then wouldn't Trent be charged? Carling is all kinds of hey-it's-so-nice-of-you-to-try-and-think-about-this-sort-of-thing dismissive.

And so we meet Assistant District Attorney Lee Crocker, who has cleaned up quite nicely since his days on Oz. Hunt introduces the two of them, and Crocker welcomes him warmly. "Like two peas in a pansy pod," Carling sniffs. "Detective," Crocker says, regarding Carling with visible disdain, "if ignorance were a drug, you'd be high all the time." "Now that was an analogy," Sam smirks. Carling will ace those SAT Verbals just yet, you wait and see.

In Hunt's office, Crocker is telling the lieutenant that he's failed to make the case against Trent on the check-cashing capers. Sam agrees, quite possibly a bit too audibly for Hunt's taste. The lieutenant asks Crocker to give the two of them a moment. After Crocker departs, Hunt unlocks a safe in his office -- inside he's got enough drug paraphernalia to stock the concession stand for the next six months of the Dead tour. "Aladdin's cave," Hunt calls it. His idea is to plant some drugs on Kim Trent -- presumably, inside the Speedo, since it's not like it has a surplus of pockets -- and keep him under lock and key that way. Sam is flabbergasted and appalled, which is rapidly becoming his default state on this show. Sam's got a better idea -- a constitutionally permissible idea: Give Trent a bench appearance ticket and then let him go, only with a tail following his every move to get some real evidence on the guy. Hunt agrees, his reluctance for Sam's plan tempered only by the possibility of having another chance to bang Trent's skull around. Plus, there's the added bonus of getting to blame Sam if anything goes wrong.

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Life on Mars

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