Life on Mars

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: B | Grade It Now!
Don't Go Chasing Butterflies

So anyhow, Brother Love Butter pretends to be a dude because that makes it easier for her to get her message of peace, love, and inaccurate riot reporting out to the people. Do you care? You most surely do not. Anyhow, Brother Love Butter would like it to be known that she was not party to the BLA's kidnapping plot. "That being said, I can understand the frustration," she continues. "People want justice for Keisha's death." Even if it means another murder, Sam wonders. "I'm talking about justice," Brother Love Butter replies. "And peace in our metropolis." So yeah -- murder would be cool. Brother Love Butter gestures to her TV screen, where we see people flipping a car -- oh God, it's a tape of the Phillies' World Series celebration. "Blood for blood works," she says. Does that mean I'll be getting back that $7 I spent on Ghost back in 1990? Because if it'll loosen up the purse strings, I'll flip a car over that.

Sam has had quite enough of this hoodoo and goes all Hasselbeck on Brother Love Butter's ass: she needs to stop broadcasting these updates and let the police do their job. "Arresting Angel does not quell my people's pain," Brother Love Butter says. Fletcher tries another tack -- let's say the BLA successfully tracks down Angel and beats the ever-loving stuffing out of him -- the police will wind up arresting the BLA, along with anyone who aided and abetted them, which would include Brother Love Butter. "Now you're broadcasting on my frequency," Brother Love Butter concedes. She will give them 24 hours of radio silence to do their thing. But Fletcher just had another bright idea -- since Angel is likely listening to the broadcast in order to keep tabs on just who wants to beat the shit out of him, perhaps it's time for Sam and Fletcher to make a special on-air dedication.

After a few words from our sponsors, we return to find Sam and Fletcher live and in your ear on the Brother Love Butter Radio Network. Brother Love Butter introduces Sam as "a white honkey pig" who's "partnered with a brother so he can't be all bad news." And this white honkey pig's got a message for a certain Angel Ramirez: "We know you're scared. But we want you to turn yourself in before it's too late. Your life is in danger, but we will help you get through this. You have my word." Sam must have struck a chord, because the phone lines immediately light up. Can we have your name, Caller? That'd be Angel then, who'd like to tell his side of the story. "I prayed that God would send me someone who would listen," Angel begins. While he's talking, Fletcher and Brother Love Butter are furiously scribbling down possible locales from where Angel might be calling. The airport? The subway? Sam shakes his head at both suggestions. Anyhow, just as Angel is getting to the meat of his story -- how he was on the roof painting -- Brother Love Butter interrupts to say that there's another caller on the line... a cop. Sam pleads with her not to patch in the other caller, but she does anyway. Sam's instincts were right. "Lt. Hunt," the caller identifies himself, "with a song request for DJ Sammy Numbnuts. It's called 'Stop Acting Like a Sissy Marie, And Find Out This Punk's Location' by the group Two Dumb Cops" Ooh, that's a Pink Floyd cover, isn't it? Anyhow, the dulcet tones of Hunt's voice have effectively scared off Angel, because by the time they've hung up on Hunt, all they're getting from Angel's line is a dial tone. But all is not lost -- from the background noise of a bus parking during Angel's call, Sam deduced that the suspect was calling from the New York Port Authority. To the Sam Mobile!

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Life on Mars




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