Life on Mars

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: A- | Grade It Now!
Tuesdays With Mopey

Outside the hospital, Cat Stevens starts singing about how Tuesday's dead, which is fitting, because so is that orderly who got shot earlier. "I was supposed to die at two," a shaken Sam tells Annie. "Now he's dead. And I'm alive." Sounds like a net gain for you then. "You're alive, Sam," Annie reminds him. "Can't you let it go?" Sam decides to give it a shot.

The detectives of the 125 have retired to a local watering hole to celebrate the minimal loss of human life; Sam still looks decidedly mopey. Hey, if it's any consolation, Carling's sorry he almost got Sam shot up by snipers. Well, not really -- Hunt made him apologize. "You know, you don't have to treat the 'crazy' cop with kid gloves," Sam huffs. "Good," Carling retorts. "Because I ain't that sorry, and I still think you're a meatball." Oh, just kiss already. Hunt looks like he has something on his mind: "You know, Tyler... you're not so special. We all go crazy at some point. It happens to every cop who gives a crap about what he does. That's why we're alcoholics. That's why our women leave us. We're broken toys. What makes us different from those folks in the Psych Ward... we keep each other sane. That's what it's all about. Any decent precinct house... we keep each other sane." "After all," Carling adds, "we're an American band." On that note, maybe we should get out of here.

Which is what Sam does, only outside the bar, he happens to spot a TV through a window playing that same soap opera from earlier. The mother on said soap opera has seen her comatose son smile and is now refusing to let the doctors turn off the machine. So that's apparently how things played out in 2008... hopefully with much better acting. Annie happens by just then and notices Sam staring through that window. "Are you adding 'peeping Tom' to the list of your bizarre attributes, Sam?" she asks playfully. He responds by joyfully giving her a bear hug to celebrate the news of his non-demise. She makes a mental note to add "Inappropriately Familiar" to the list after "Peeping Tom" and "Narcissist." But no, the hug is a thank you to Annie for helping Sam remember something real -- that was what spared him from the Flatliners Club. "Thank you for keeping an insane man... sane," he tells her. She seems to agree with him about the "insane" part.

Annie heads toward the bar, and Sam's about to head home, when he notices Maya -- well, the 1970s soap actress version of Maya -- on the TV. The good news? She's happy they didn't pull the plug on him. The better news? She's not going to let them do it if they try again. The best news? "I also don't think I can keep doing this," Maya says. "I'm so sorry. It's just... it's been months. I gotta say goodbye. I gotta let you go. It's time for living." The soap opera music swells -- perhaps not loud enough to drown out the cheers from the Sobell household -- and Sam turns to walk away. He pauses outside the bar and takes a good long look at Annie. They share a smile. And in a particular nice touch, the show closes with a 1970s soap opera-style title screen. I hereby declare this a Bonet-free zone.

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Life on Mars




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