Life Unexpected

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Dress To Distress

That night, Math picks up Cate at her house. He is wildly impressed by her dress, which is frankly pretty boring. But then again so is Math, I suppose. She laughs at him for "ironically" bringing her a pink carnation corsage, except I'm pretty sure it's not ironic to him. Carrie Bradshaw, she ain't. And he is no Mr. Big. Not even Berger, for that matter. Though, if we're being honest, I liked Berger until they wrote him into an a-hole corner. He was my pink carnation, I guess. But I digress... So Math over-eagerly offers to put on Cate's corsage, and it becomes clear that he has every ounce of his high school self invested in this evening. She blows it by telling him, "If I take it off later, it's only because it's itchy." Could she be any more self-involved? She does, mercifully, thank him for going to the effort of getting her flowers.

Over at Baze's, the old man corners Jones and calls him "son" before laying out the rules as vaguely as possible that he doesn't want Jones "going there and doing that" with Lux. Jones assures Baze that he really likes Lux and isn't "the kind of guy who would just hook up with a girl at Winter Formal and ditch her in the parking lot, you know?" Oh... how Baze knows. Point, Jones! Baze puts that in his pipe and smokes it as Lux appears in her shiny pink dress -- with neon high top sneakers to maintain her street cred. Instead she looks like some dreadful spawn of Avril Lavigne and [insert Disney Robot Starlet here]. Regardless, Jones and Baze are scripted to be wowed. As they leave, Baze stops them to take a mandatory "embarrassing dad" photo. Lux walks down the stairs, and Baze assures Jones that he's "a stand-up little dude, dude." We'll see about that.

The youngsters make it to Westmonte. Lux and Jones have a meaningful "You're not like The Others" moment in the parking lot, which is of course interrupted by The Others, namely Jones's friends who just pulled some prank on the principal. Jones pulls out his flask, and they all have a good laugh about how juvenile they are. Har har. Then one of The Others spots Math with his "date." Jones asks Lux if that's her mom. Lux takes a big swig. Meanwhile, Baze is strutting around the loft like a rock star. Then he finds a condom by the couch. Ignoring the fact that it's still wrapped, he assumes the worst and begins to reconsider his classification of Jones as a "stand-up little dude."

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Life Unexpected

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