Life Unexpected

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!

Once everyone's inside, Baze tries to play up Cate's success with her job. Ideally, this would prompt Lux to tell the Baziles how she listened to Cate all her life before finding out that Cate was actually her mother. But Lux is not in a "plays well with others" kind of mood tonight, so she shrugs off the cue. Cate's mom either got a head start on the box o' wine before dinner or is a cheap date. Either way she laughs about how she never listens to Cate before she gets a little handsy with Lux. Baze's mom says she prefers radio shows with a stronger moral fiber. Abbie tries to be a team player by asking Baze about the bar, but it only gives his dad an opening to shit talk his own son in front of the whole extended family. Good times. Baze changes the subject, saying Lux transferred to Westmonte. Mrs. Bazile asks if Lux has made some new friends, and Lux continues to be a real peach by saying that she already had friends, and Cate is keeping her from seeing them.

At which point Baze takes Cate and Lux to another room for a family powwow. Seriously, he has them huddle. He tells them to save the cat fights for later, but Cate feels like she's the put-upon one. She asks what she did. Lux launches into her ready-made rant about how her social life was just dandy before (minus the homelessness and friend who would steal from you without thinking twice) and that, after a life spent in foster homes where no one cared about what she thought, she hoped her real family would give her opinions some consideration. Instead of telling her to tamp the brat factor down and shut the eff up for another two hours, Cate listens. So Lux twists the knife further. She says she's not going to sit quietly and pretend that these strangers are her family because "they're not." Then she adds, "You're not." Lux concludes her dramatic monologue by turning around to walk out. At which point she discovers that everyone in the house has heard her little hissy fit. Way to go, punk.

And yet they still have dinner! Many awkward glasses of wine later, Abbie takes it upon her therapist self to stage an intervention. Rule No. 1 of an intervention: We don't come from a place of judgment, we come from a place of love. Abbie interprets this rule to mean that it's perfectly okay to call Cate and Baze morons. Mrs. Bazile steps in with a gentler touch, saying the families have some concerns. Cate's mom chips in that they're not ready to be parents. And her wine glass is literally filled to the brim. Amazing. Cate throws it in her mom's face that she's a drunk who's been married four times. Mr. Bazile throws dirt onto the pile with his officiousness and judgy wudginess, driving Lux to a blatant and desperate attempt to extract herself from the table by offering to get some water. And I quote, "You can never over hydrate!" Then she runs out. So they all go back and forth for a while about how ill-suited Cate and Baze are suited to parenting. Somewhere along the way Cate's mom generously offers to help out with Lux, and things gets personal when Mrs. Bazile insinuates -- then outright says -- Cate's mom was a shitty parent. Cate jumps to her mom's defense by pointing out that the Baziles produced Baze. In his greatest moment of self-delusion yet, Mr. Bazile self-importantly proclaims that he and his are the only people in the room qualified to be parents. He starts rattling off why everyone in the room besides him sucks, hitting the pinnacle by accusing Cate of not telling Baze she was pregnant. She looks at Baze with hurt in her eyes, and he comes clean that he actually knew.

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Life Unexpected




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