Life Unexpected

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Storm Drain

In her presumptuous planning frenzy, Abby snatches Math's breakfast right out from under him, shoots him a shit-eating grin, and heads into Baze's room. Math loudly mocks Baze for wearing a Kabbalah bracelet, which apparently Abby said was the "new LiveStrong." Baze tells Math to keep it down. Math shoots back that it would have been useful for Baze and Abby to do the same the night before: "It sounded like cats drowning... more cats!" Heh. Side note: Shouldn't Math, Cate's ultimate defender, be a little miffed about this whole Baze-Abby thing? It's so obviously rife with inevitable conflict only a dolt like Baze and a selfish hag like Abby would fail to notice it.

Cate tries to break it to Abby that she's already asked Lux, but Abby keeps machine-gunning along until she says she has to go and hangs up. She asks if Baze is joining her for yoga. He is. Math also finds this suspect. They make it to yoga class, of which Abby is instructor. In Baze's "I'd tap that" keg shirt, it's worth noting. Abby serenely talks about sending out good intentions -- hers were to meet a man, and she has -- as Cate runs in mid-tizzy. On cue, Cate clocks Baze with her yoga mat and wonders aloud why he would be there. As she rolls out her mat, she looks at Abby and notices something is amiss. She asks Baze, "Don't you have that same shirt?" Then she notices the Kabbalah bracelet. She puts it together instantly and her stage whispers build to a full-on shriek as she accuses Baze, "You are the guy my sister's sleeping with?!" Cut to nasty looks from the no-longer-tranquil yogi. Credits.

We return to yoga, where the yogi hit downward dog and Cate packs up. Abby approaches to avoid a scene. Good luck, sister. Cate mentions the obvious that Baze effs up everything he touches, and asks how long they've been sneaking around. Baze tries to dance around the truth, but oblivious Abby comes out with it that they first slept together after Winter Formal and have been every day since. Cate is hurt that her kind gesture (Zima!) was sullied by Baze's man-whoring. She asks how she's going to explain it to Lux, then ascertains from their uncomfortable looks that Lux knows. Cate says it's no wonder Lux doesn't respect Baze if she knows he's having some sort of "gross, pseudo-incestuous fling with her aunt." Abby argues that it's not a fling, then shouts at the class to get in plank position (why the hapless yogi are still listening her and trying to find their inner peace with this scene going on, I don't know). Baze throws it in Cate's face that she's always telling him to grow up. He says this is his (poorly conceived) attempt at that, and Cate can't complain just because she doesn't approve of the person he's chosen. Now really, can we consider having a secret affair with your baby mama's sister growing up? Adding insult to injury, Baze tells Cate to deal with it and proves that, though it's never a shock, he really is a world-class ass-hat. Abby shoots wounded-looking Cate a steely stare.

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Life Unexpected

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