Previously: Seriously? How many times do I need to tell you that Lux is the bastard child of high schoolers, who're all grown up? Also, she spilled the beans on her mom Cate, who's secretly engaged to her radio co-host Ryan. And then there's Baze. In a nutshell, his dad sucks. Which may or may not be the cause of his slacker approach toward life. TBD.

Good morning, Portland! Or afternoon, I guess. Hard to tell in that dismal Northwest weather. Lux exits school en route to her boyfriend Bug's motorcycle. On the way out, she must pass by the Mean Girls she embarrassed by selling a counterfeit collectible bong lamp. Yes, Baze had much to do with this. As if you couldn't guess. Mean Girl Beta, who bought said counterfeit bong lamp, actually calls her "foster freak." Really? Would anyone, even in high school, do that these days? I mean really. It's not exactly something she had a choice in, now was it? Then again, gingers are inherently funny and fun to kick, so there's that. (P.S. I'm just kidding, ginges! Please don't descend on me en masse!) Lux reaches Bug, who tells her not to worry about those jerks. Lux can't even get in a yea or nay before they circle back around like hyenas, talking about some party they're planning and making a point to swivel around to make sure Lux knows she's not invited. Bug shoots back loudly, "You're right, Lux. Her ass is way bigger than her mouth!" Heh.

While Lux chews Bug out for making her life that much worse, Jones (the infamous man who inspired this whole kerfluffle) moseys over and compliments Bug's bike. Lux apologizes about the whole bong lamp imbroglio, but Jones says it worked in his favor -- MGB felt so bad that she offered to throw his birthday party at her house. MGB comes over and paws Jones possessively, beckoning him to come with her as she sees her parents off to the airport. He good-naturedly goes along. At which point I wonder whether Lux will develop an unlikely new friend or find herself in the clutches of a rape-y quarterback like some embarrassing V.C. Andrews novel. But I digress... Bug again tells Lux to forget about the Mean Girls because Tasha and he are planning a surprise for her. They'll unveil it the next night.

That night, Lux refs a churro eating contest between Baze, Math, and The Other One. Turns out they've been scarfing down fried Twinkies, fried Snickers, even fried butter. Now that is my kind of night on the town. Not so much for Math, who wonders why they're reenacting that offensive -- to me at least -- commercial that compares eating too much junk food to being a rampant alcoholic. (Apologies if this commercial only airs in public health option-carrying Canada. But let me tell you it is not cool. Too far, Canada. Too far.) Baze says he's looking for ideas to make the bar into an event venue so he can make as much cash as he did at Cate and Ryan's Drink-a-Date event. He tells the guys he wants 10 "jackpot not crackpot" ideas by the end of the night. It's a toss-up whether they hear him, though, as they are scurrying to the Port-a-Johns. Baze notices that Lux is moping all over her candy apple and asks if she wants to skip their air hockey game and leave. She says the longer she stays, the longer it is until tomorrow. He picks up on her continued bullying at the hands of the Mean Girls. She says the only person who's been nice to her is "just some jock" named Jones. Baze points out that "Just Some Jock" is technically his middle name. He tells her befriending Jones will make her life easier. She asks if they would have been friends if she'd been in high school with him. Instead of pointing out that she's an uptight drone like Cate and that he only hung out with her once (and we all know the results of that), he dodges the question, making fun of her victory dance when she wins air hockey. She tells him she'll stop dancing when he stops losing. Good girl, keep 'em coming.