Lights Out
Bolo Punch

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now!
Alone In The Ring

Patrick enters some convenience store and asks the proprietor ("Massoud," he calls him) if he's seen Stacy Keach. The dude says not today, but he did come in late the night before and buy cigars and a raw chicken. Apparently aware that the extent of Stacy Keach's cooking is heating up frozen dinners, Patrick gets a smile of recognition on his face and thanks the guy in Arabic (Shukran), to which the guy replies, Afwan. Geez, Patrick, you're already in trouble with the government. You want to be labeled a terrorist too?

So Stacy Keach is using the chicken as bait to fish in the river, and if he catches anything I expect it to be "Blinky" from The Simpsons, but first he asks Patrick if "a guy" can't go fishing once in a while. Instead of pointing out that "a guy" as old as Stacy Keach shouldn't disappear without letting people know where he's going, or that "a guy" didn't make arrangements to let his staff into the gym, Patrick goes for the fact that Stacy Keach hasn't been fishing in fifteen years, and also, the river is a hazardous waste site. Stacy Keach petulantly tells Patrick he never liked it there even as a kid, as if that has anything to do with anything, and once again tries to make Patrick feel inferior to his brother by recalling that although Patrick never caught anything, Johnny "hauled in some big stripers." Patrick, however, has the last laugh -- Johnny bought those fish so he could come home a hero. After having done the "Johnny's my favorite" thing again, Stacy Keach has the gall to ask Patrick why he's always busting Johnny's balls, but Patrick, who I'm starting to think could really have a promising career as an anger-management coach, merely asks if he can give Stacy Keach a ride home. Stacy Keach, however, says no, and when Patrick asks how he's going to get home, Stacy Keach replies, "One more question, I'm jumpin' in." That silence is me not objecting.

Johnny pulls into the gym's parking lot, at which point two dudes get out of a waiting car and accost him, with the one, smaller, Asian guy making pointed comments about how nice a car he's driving. As the other, balder, rather more intimidating guy blocks Johnny's path, the Asian dude tells Johnny his time's up and he wants his money, so I guess this is the guy Johnny laid the bet with at that Chinese restaurant. This also means he bet on Omar, and while that speaks better of his character than the reverse, it certainly was not the right move from a diversification standpoint. Johnny laughs, "Get in line," which is perhaps not what you say to someone who makes his living in illegal gambling, and getting stony silence in return, tells "Ernie" he's working on it, and he's just waiting for the pay-per-view money. Even though he was just told it's a lease job, Ernie says he'll take the car, prompting Johnny to throw the keys over a building, which in turn prompts Ernie to come at Johnny. Johnny has little enough trouble with Ernie, but in taking him down he doesn't watch out for the other dude, which given that he's pretty clearly the enforcer of the situation is fairly slow-witted on his part. The guy ends up scooping Johnny up over his shoulder -- I'm not convinced that was a stunt double, and it's no mean feat given Pablo Schreiber's height -- and tossing him onto the ground, whereupon he wraps his leg around Johnny's arm in a technique that, I know from my own martial-arts training, could easily shatter his elbow if he pushed it far enough, so I guess it's a blessing that he simply uses it to keep Johnny still while he and Ernie beat the crap out of him. Hey, Stacy Keach, you want to tell me how much of a boxing phenom Johnny was again?

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