Lights Out

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now!
Thumbs Up it's perhaps no surprise that we cut to him out with his brother. They toast, although Patrick is only drinking water, and I know he's in training but you'd still think an Irishman would know better. Johnny asks him about working out with Stacy Keach again, and Patrick confesses that he's still really hard on him. "You were always the golden boy." He adds that Johnny's still undefeated, and that Stacy Keach is always insinuating that if Johnny hadn't gotten hurt, he would have been unstoppable. Johnny, however, tells him that however talented he may have been, he would have burned out, and he never had the discipline or maturity to be a champion, like Patrick does. Patrick jokes that Johnny's saying he's old, but Johnny corrects him that ever since he can remember, Patrick's carried the whole family, and he's still doing it. As I mentioned before, this is a good Johnny episode, but we can't have feelings for too long in a show about Irish boxers, so it's a good thing that two women approach them and ask if Patrick was really the heavyweight champion, using that "settle a bet for us" that is always a fast track to boning. Soon, Johnny's making out in a corner with one of them while Patrick dances with the other. Well, to be more accurate, Patrick stands and sways a bit while his woman treats him like a stripper pole. Patrick's vision is blurry...still? Again? And then the woman is telling him she thinks her ride just left, and I will refrain from making any jokes about that line, but sure enough, through the blurry haze, Patrick can see that his brother is no longer there...

...and then he's driving her home even though his vision makes it look like he's on mescaline, I mean, COME ON. I know he's got this need to solve everything himself, but it's called a taxi, Patrick. Jesus. Anyway, the woman hits on him for a while until he figures out that Johnny set this up in advance, and then he runs his car off the road into a tree. Just like Patrick to end up in an accident with paid-in-advance pro in the car (SPOILER) and not even get any action.

When we return, Patrick is being examined at the hospital as Johnny looks on, and the doctor tells him he's got some blood in the space between his cornea and iris, and I believe I spoke quite clearly in my recap of the pilot about my aversion to eye trauma above most others, so I'll just tell you that she advises Patrick to protect the eye until it heals. When they're alone, Johnny tells Patrick he took care of the situation -- he paid off the EMS guys and had the car towed down to the shore, and the woman will be no problem, as she's married, and "last thing she wants is for her husband to find out she moonlights." Well, sure. Then he'd always be worried she's saving her A game. Johnny assures him, "This never happened..."

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Lights Out




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