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Crossroads

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
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Nuts To You
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open with ED and Patrick in the ring; they stare at each other, the ref hilariously tells them to have a "nice clean fight," then the bell rings and ED, who's got a huge tattoo of a cross on his chest, comes straight at Patrick...

...and then we're in the diner, where Patrick is eating in a booth with...Reynolds. Well, that's unexpected, but it makes sense when Reynolds, after quoting some bit of philosophical wisdom, hands Patrick a folder that he says is his dossier on ED. Patrick asks why he's giving it to him, to which Reynolds replies, "We are all threads in the tapestries of each others' lives." I would have gone with "Because as I have said to your thick Irish ass in exactly so many words, I want to get back in the ring with you and settle our business once and for all," but I'll admit his sounds better. Reynolds goes on that ED doesn't deserve to be in the same ring with Patrick, and he doesn't know what Barry was thinking. Patrick, apparently not ready to think of Reynolds as an ally, asks why he doesn't just ask Barry, since he's his "guy," but Reynolds, not without amusement, tells him that Barry is Barry's guy and no one else's, and adds that no one will remember Barry's place in history, but they'll remember the rivalry between the two of them. Well, if you do say so yourself, Reynolds. Patrick, continuing to be unimpressed, merely replies, "Take care, Richard," prompting Reynolds, after a long look, to put on his shades and get out of there. Patrick watches him head into the opening credits...

...and then he's at the gym, taking off his shirt and weighing himself. Geez, Patrick, if you want results I'd get on the scale before the lumberjack breakfast. He has to cover his bad eye to read the thing, but then records his weight at 208 on a log taped to the inside of his locker, and I cannot believe they didn't take the opportunity also to have a picture of his family for him to sigh over in there. That is a pleasant surprise, by the way. Oh, also, it looks like 208 was his target weight from the way that number is written in large red numerals on the calendar, so kudos to Patrick for training all those extra pounds away. I doubt that'll help if he's still seeing like Mr. Magoo, but it's a nice achievement on its own merits.

Stacy Keach then comes in and says Margaret told him about Reynolds being in the diner, and Patrick hands over the file on ED, prompting Stacy Keach to inquire about Reynolds, "What's he, J. Edgar Hoover now?" HA! That got me off on the idea of Reynolds dressing up as a boxing slut to gather information on an unsuspecting ED. I have no doubt he'd bring fierce undercover realness to the situation. Stacy Keach then says they should get in the ring, and they don't have time for head games...

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