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Head Games

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
Turnabout Is Fair Play

In the morning, a freshly-showered Ava comes downstairs to find a large, hulking man of color looking for something in her kitchen, and she smartly sneaks back up the stairs to alert her parents and call the police - oh, wait, no, she actually picks up a kitchen knife and tells him to get out of her house, like, the guy's twice your size, honey. Your Bayonne blood isn't going to make up for over a hundred pounds disadvantage. Patrick comes "whoa, whoa, whoa"-ing down the stairs and tells her Ed's going to be staying with them for a couple days, to which she predictably, snottily, and justifiably thanks him for the notice. She hustles back upstairs, ignoring Theresa on her way, and then Daniella appears for an introduction, with Patrick adding that Katie's away on a Girl Scout retreat. Ed babbles about having been an Eagle Scout before asking Patrick when he first went in the ring, and as Patrick recalls, he was about seven, and they had a thing where he would box his father every Friday night, and the first time he knocked him down, he got to sign up for the Golden Gloves. "My dad did it with his dad too." Great, a history of the Leary men beating each other senseless. No wonder this family's so shitty with money - they've gotten hit in the head too many times to do simple math. Anyway, Patrick finally took Stacy Keach down when he was twelve, and he deems that one of the happiest moments of his life, which even he seems to realize is a little sad. Ed tells Patrick he's going to need to speak to his father that morning... Patrick pulls up to Stacy Keach's place, whereupon Ed hops out and says he'll meet him at the gym, and Patrick gets a look on his face like you might if you were introducing your new wife to your old one. At least you don't have to witness the awkward, guy. Inside, Ed asks Stacy Keach why he's not training Patrick anymore, so Stacy Keach shows him tape of Patrick's fight with El Diablo, and from the brief glimpse of footage we see it definitely looks like he's focusing on the part where Patrick was getting his ass kicked...

...and then Ed enters the gym holding a rubber ball and tells Patrick to get up against the wall. In my elementary school, that would mean it was time for a charming playground game called "Asses Up," which really requires no explanation, but this is just so Ed can wing the ball at Patrick a few times, forcing him to duck, while explaining that Stacy Keach thinks Patrick took too many punches in the El Diablo fight, which must mean his reflexes are shot. Ed, however, has divined the truth, as he asks Patrick if there was something wrong with his eye in the fight beyond the cut we saw. Patrick admits it but says it healed, while Johnny watches all "Wait, people come back from eye injuries? How come no one told me?"

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