Lights Out

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Couch Baron: C | Grade It Now!
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Hi, Ed. Bye, Ed.

...and then Patrick's taping his segment in the ring at the gym, as he says he learned to box there -- his father was a trainer when he was a kid. He expresses pride in having his name on the place, and then Charlie the segment producer cuts the scene and asks Barry where the hell his guy is. We pan over to Barry, who's holding his phone as he intones, "I hate boxers." Heh. He's the only character on this show I can count on for a laugh.

Reynolds is swimming in his little indoor pool when his wife comes in, and he tells her he's not so much going to the interview, since Patrick didn't go to Coney Island. Eh, not really caring, sorry. (Apathy at least means less typing for me.)

Charlie is not so pleased to hear that news, and after she stomps off to call the network, Barry asks Patrick if there's a chance he and Reynolds will show up for the fight. Patrick assures him he doesn't have to worry, and then Charlie returns and suggests they talk about Ed. Patrick is reluctant, but agrees to five minutes; unfortunately, he's more like five seconds into it when Ed enters the gym and asks what the hell is going on. Everyone just stands there like they were having a party and someone's parents just came home early, like, IT ISN'T HIS GYM, Jesus. Johnny at least steps forward and tells him they're doing a promo, which is a contractual obligation, although they'll understand if he doesn't want to participate. Ed, however, barks for everyone to get out, and I don't know why they'd listen, but Barry apparently has had enough of this shit (understandable, given Reynolds's bailing on him) and leaves. Ed then growls at Johnny that he knows this was his idea, which NOT EXACTLY, SINCE IT'S IN THE CONTRACT, and continues to behave like an ass as the camera guys eagerly continue to film him, which is the one thing in this scene that would actually happen in real life. However, when Ed notices, he goes and attacks the cameramen, which always works out real well, and Patrick has to pull him off and yell at him to get into Stacy Keach's office...

...wherein Ed gravels that this is their space and Patrick has just "dishonored" all of their work, which is A BIT MUCH and CONTRACT, and then orders Patrick to go for his run and "figure out why you did this to me," and while Patrick was definitely being an idiot before, I'm definitely over Ed at this point, so when he asks why Patrick's trying to sabotage their relationship and what he's so afraid of, I can't really blame Patrick for telling him he's going home. With a hard look, he exits the office, leaving Ed to look around all "I have been BETRAYED AGAIN!" Ed, to paraphrase the wonderful Cordelia Chase, perhaps it's time you visited Decafland?

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Lights Out

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