Lights Out

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C | Grade It Now!
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Hi, Ed. Bye, Ed.

...and then Ed's just told Daniella what happened, and she's distraught, of course, because she's afraid no one will protect Patrick now. Well, that and because "distraught" is kind of her default setting. She offers to talk to Patrick for him, but Ed declines and then gives her a St. Anthony's medallion. She identifies St. Anthony as "the patron saint of lost items," which I guess means he has the largest collection of left socks in the universe, but he corrects her that it's "all things lost." She asks, "Even memory?" because GOD FORBID she have a scene in which she doesn't mention the damn dementia. I'd like to forget about it, but I'm not being given the chance.

Downstairs, Katie is pitching a fit about Ed leaving, and Patrick of course doesn't take any responsibility for it, and then Theresa enters and wonders what's going on, like, Patrick didn't even tell Theresa about it in advance? I realize this is a big house, but you'd think he'd make time to walk over to the East Wing and let her in on the news. Ed then appears and insists that Katie say goodbye properly and tells her they'll always be friends, and I don't know how that's going to work, but I'd suppose it was comforting if I cared about this maudlin bit between a child actor and a two-episodes-and-off character, but I don't...

...so let's cut to the gym, to which Patrick has driven Ed so he can get his things. Unfortunately, when Ed goes inside, he finds Johnny moving his stuff around, and the two of them get into it fairly quickly, with Ed telling him he's completely full of shit and a coward. With them in each other's faces and Johnny yelling that he doesn't need this crap, Ed turns up the growl-volume as he says Johnny won't stop until he bleeds Patrick dry, and then pushes Johnny as he calls him "garbage." Garbage... I mean "Johnny" hauls off and hits Ed in the face, a favor that's quickly returned, and then once again we get to see how awesome a boxing talent Johnny is as Ed starts kicking his ass. Outside, Patrick hears something suspicious, and when he enters, he finds Ed literally choking the life out of Johnny, which I guess means Johnny's as good at grappling as he is at boxing. As Patrick rushes over, Johnny manages to reach into a drawer, pull out a pair of scissors, and swing -- and stabs his brother in the side. GREAT. Patrick hilariously says he's cut as he sinks to the ground, and Ed, quickly all business, tells Johnny to get the car as he takes off his outer shirt and applies pressure to the wound. Ed, cradling Patrick loosely, tells him he's got him, and we're out. Ugh. Manufactured through and through, but now we know what Patrick's next obstacle is, I guess. See you next week.

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Lights Out

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