When we return, we're looking down a long driveway at a McMansion and a chyron that informs us it's "Five Years Later." We cut inside, and the only thing that distracts us from the tacky-assed architecture is the lip-smacking on the soundtrack that's turned up to eleven, like, if this is what we're hearing five hundred yards from the bedroom I can only imagine at least one of the participants spent the past five years out at sea. Whatever the case, though, after we pan past some art that's basically on the architecture's level and some family photos showing Patrick, Theresa, and their three daughters, we hear Theresa repeatedly urging Patrick, presumably, not to stop, like, I know his mind's probably a little addled from the boxing but I'm sure other parts of his body have no intention of desisting. At least, that is, until one of the girls comes to their door and calls for Theresa, asking if it's morning yet and pointing out that the sun is up. Patrick suggests she go back to bed, and she somewhat sleepily accedes to his request, but no sooner have the parents resumed thrusting than the alarm goes off. Patrick knocks it off the beside table in order to silence it, and since this is a sports show it seems fitting for me to tell you to mark that down on your scorecard as the first of many hopeless clichés we'll have on tap for this evening's entertainment.
Episode Report CardCouch Baron: C+ | 846 USERS: B-
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