Line of Fire
Pilot

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Pilot

FBI. Paige sits at a table, looking through some files. Lisa opens the door to this office and makes a face. "Van Doren. Did I not just tell you to leave and not come back for a week?" she asks. Hello? Anyone? This isn't moxie. It's trouble. Paige is going to get someone shot. Hopefully, herself. Paige nods. "You may have set some kind of record. I don't think anyone's ever been suspended forty-five minutes into the job. I'll see you in two weeks," Lisa says. And that's when I fell in love with Lisa Cohen. Do you think she's related to Seth Cohen? Anyway. Paige sputters that she was just looking at Agent Summers's files. "I was just seeing whose shoes I had to fill," she explains, and then realizes that she's really getting off on the wrong foot, so to speak, and decides to solve this by standing up and announcing that she doesn't have a problem with authority. That's like me standing up and announcing that I don't like shoes or beer. "This work means so much to me and..." Paige trails off. Lisa tells her to shut it, and then invites her to dinner. Paige smiles wildly and agrees. "I'm not asking you on a date, Van Doren. I do this with all the new agents. Shop talk." She explains that she's doing it with Todd later. I wish I were doing it with Todd later. Whoops, did I say that? Lisa looks down at Paige's rather cute black Mary Janes. "What's with the shoes?" she asks. "You're not working as a cocktail waitress. Those things are uncomfortable, you can't run in them, and even if you could, bad guys would hear you coming a mile away." Eh, tell that to Buffy Summers, Sydney Bristow, and Agent Scully, Lisa. Hot Television Women have been fighting crime and/or vampires in heels since the dawn of time. You had me and then you lost me. Besides, this is where we're getting realistic? It's Paige's shoes that are the problem, rather than her crazy personal vendetta? Okay. Anyway, Lisa tells Paige to put those files away and meet her at 8.

Across town, Roy and Donovan walk around and chat about the dangers of secondhand smoke. After a moment, they get to talking about the Feds. Donovan says that the FBI is really riding them. "You know, they have a Jew lady that runs the Feds satellite office down here," he says. Oh, charming. Sexism and anti-Semitism. Two great tastes. Roy manages to bury his distaste, and produces a chuckle. "Don't see that too often," he says. Donovan says that Lisa's not a bad looking broad, and he'd like to give her "a good banging." And then he'd like to slice her head off and send it over to Malloy. "That way everyone ends with a smile on their face," he finishes. Ooookay. You're not deranged or anything. Roy looks perturbed, and calls that "appalling." He waits a beat. "I mean, aren't you married?" he asks. Donovan just laughs. And we go to commercial on the third uninspired act-out in a row.

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Line of Fire

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