Nico shows up at Kirby's. Charles is still out of town, so if you were hoping to see any further movement on the one truly interesting part of this whole mess -- i.e., the possibility that Charles might also be cheating -- you will have to wait. Hell, we'll be lucky if Charles is still a history professor by the time we see him again. He might have switched to running a restaurant or something. Anyway, Nico is wearing a hilarious skull-and-crossbones charm on her big gold necklace, possibly to intimidate her young lover. Kirby thought it was "hot" that she stopped by the set to watch him work, but Nico just wants to hear more about his conversations with Sasha Winters. Trying not to sound jealous, Nico grills Kirby: Oh, she gave you her phone number, that's nice! You should call her! "Who wants her?" asks Kirby. "I have you." "No, Kirby, you don't have me," Nico corrects him. "My husband has me." Weird that this detail should be so important to Nico all of a sudden, isn't it? She goes on to insist that Kirby go out with Sasha, because if he turns her down because of his feelings for Nico, he's clearly violating the no-romantic-involvement rule that Nico has established. Kirby looks hurt -- he should call Shane! They can talk about how chicks are just crazy sometimes! Am I right? -- and by this point, Nico has gotten herself so worked up and so twisted around, trying to disguise her jealousy as something other than jealousy, that she has no choice but to leave in a huff. Kirby didn't even have a chance to take off his shirt! Their whole vibe is starting to feel a little like Sunset Boulevard, but without the satire.
The first ad of the break features Candace Bushnell herself, and I don't know what I was expecting her to look like, but it wasn't that. I'm fascinated by the way she talks. What is going on there?
After the commercials, it's time for the fundraiser! I still have no idea what cause we're raising money for, but let's see if there are any clues. The party seems to be in an art gallery...There is actual jazz music playing...Hey, look: a guy with an eye patch! Is this fundraiser for pirates? That would explain the skull-and-crossbones jewelry! It's all making sense now. And look who's walking in: it's Charles Busch! I've been waiting for Busch to appear since I saw his name in the opening credits, and now that he's finally on the scene, I'm a little confused. He's not in drag -- he's playing Ricardo Bragini -- yet he's wearing more makeup, and a less convincing wig, than I've ever seen him wear before. He also has a weird accent when he speaks, and on top of that, one of his three lines is completely overdubbed. I would LOVE to know what Busch/Bragini is actually saying, because it's so completely different from the line that made it to the air (insulting Nico: "At what age should a woman cover her neck?") that it's like we're watching a dubbed Godzilla movie for a minute, and it makes me wonder whether the original dialogue was too scandalous to air. Oh, anyway: Bragini is bitchy to Nico. That's what we're supposed to get from that scene.