Lipstick Jungle

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Mollie: D+ | Grade It Now!
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All About Reese

When Vic and her man reenter the club, drunk Nico and Wendy hail them with a very loud, unison cry of "Joooooooooooe!" It's unsettling to say the least. Give Joe points for sitting down anyway. He recognizes Shane onstage and asks Wendy, "Isn't that your husband?" Nico declares that Shane is "really good," and that he should be "doing something with his music." Joe is confused: "I thought he was a restaurateur?" Victory says, "Yeah, you missed a lot," and then all three women smile slyly. This seems unfair, unless Joe was invited to the writers' meeting where it was decided that Shane would no longer be in the restaurant business. Come to think of it, none of us in the audience were invited to that meeting, either. And let me tell you something, show: loose ends and sloppy writing are bad enough without you rubbing our noses in the mess you made. Shame on you. Anyway, once that's done, we get a long, embarrassing montage of Shane and company doing their mid-'80s, sax-heavy thing up on the stage. They sound kind of like the band Ira played with in the early seasons of Mad About You. Or the band from Saturday Night Live -- you know that awful faux-jazz music that somehow seems to signify "New York" on television? It sounds like that. Finally -- mercifully -- the set is over. Lonely Nico glances over at Joe and Victory, canoodling like newlyweds, and looks thoughtful.

Wendy hurries backstage to catch up to Shane. She's gone from being half nervous and half turned-on to being fully hot for his piano-playing body, so they duck into the green room to get it on.

Outside the club, Joe and Victory offer Nico a ride home in Joe's car, but Nico wants to "walk up Madison" because she needs "air" -- meaning, naturally, that she wants to take a taxi to Kirby's because she needs some hot sex. "Downtown," she tells the cab driver who picks her up as Joe and Vic drive away. When you're the EiC of Bonfire, there's no need to get more specific than that.

In the green room, Wendy stops kissing Shane long enough to remark that he should play with his smooth-jazz pals more often. He resentfully jokes, "When? Before Taylor's karate class or after helping Maddie with her homework?" Well, the evenings would seem like the obvious choice to me -- but I guess that would require Wendy's coming home after work instead of going straight to happy hour with the girls. So Shane can forget about that.

We cut from Wendy and Shane making out to Joe and Victory making out in the back seat of Joe's car. For some reason, the car comes to a dead stop in front of a department store, and stays there while traffic whizzes by. Perhaps Joe's driver has instructions to pull over whenever it looks like Joe might make it to second base? A sudden stop could ruin everything! So there they are, stopped at the curb for no reason. Victory opens her eyes and sees something that makes her pull away from Joe and jump out of the car. The store's window display reads "Ricardo Bragini," but Victory points and cries, "That's my dress!" She goes along the window, pointing to each mannequin: "That's my dress, and that's my dress..." The best part about this scene is that Joe assumes Victory means she wants to own the dresses, even as she gets more and more hysterical about it. That's how childish he thinks Victory is. He just assumes she's having a cow here on the sidewalk in the middle of the night because she saw some pretty dresses she wants to buy. And it doesn't bother him! He tells her that he'll "close the store" tomorrow to let her shop if she'll get back in the car for now. What a stellar couple they are. Anyway, Victory finally explains that she designed these dresses, duh. And Bragini stole her designs!

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Lipstick Jungle

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