Lipstick Jungle

Episode Report Card
Mollie: C | Grade It Now!
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Bombay Dreams

On an elevator at the Matrick-Verner building (where, I guess, Bonfire and Parador both have their offices), Wendy tells Nico that Chloe Jamison jumped at the idea of wearing a Victory Ford original. Then she studies her friend's face and guesses that Nico called Kirby. Nico doesn't give any details of the unanswered phone call, but she does tell Wendy about the statement she's been asked to sign that makes Kirby out to be a "predator," resolving, "I can't destroy someone else's life just to save my own." And the lies! Don't forget about the web of lies! Wendy counters, "How about to save your marriage?"

We transition to the next scene with an aerial shot of Central Park, looking south from about 112th Street. I can't help noticing that the trees look awfully green and full considering that it's still winter. Maybe the editors are trying to disorient us so we'll think that the diner where Nico is meeting Charles for lunch is way uptown somewhere, rather than along 3rd Avenue in the 20s. "What brings you all the way up here?" asks Charles. Why, where does Nico work, Staten Island? Nico tells Charles she missed him, and he jokes about the lecture he just finished, but before they can get too lovey-dovey, they are interrupted by a frantic young woman who calls Charles "Professor" and barrages him with excuses for why her history paper is late. Silver-haired Professor Reilly is a mensch about it, calming her down and accepting the paper without question. The student, Megan, gazes at him with sparkling, adoring blue eyes. Then she glances at Nico. Charles looks a bit embarrassed to have to introduce his wife, but that could just be because he hates saying "Nico" out loud. God knows I would. He adds, "Megan is one of my most promising grad students, when she gets more than two hours' sleep a night" -- an observation that will sound much creepier in retrospect. Megan beams at Nico, telling her what a lucky woman she is, before scampering off to Anthropologie to blow her stipend on more trendy accessories. When Megan has gone, Nico comments on Charles's kindness, and he amps up the creepy with his reply: "She's not the first to hand in something late. You still owe me a paper on Thomas Paine, I believe." Ew, Nico was once his student! Ew ew ew! That explains so much. But still, ew. Charles gets up from the table to "go check the specials" -- which, in my restaurant experience, it is seldom necessary to do. Maybe that's his euphemism for using the restroom. On the way to "check the specials" he runs into a young man with whom he has a brief, collegial exchange. Nico watches thoughtfully. Then she opens the folder she's brought with her and signs the Kirby-tried-to-attack-me statement. I'm not sure the signature is valid, though, because she definitely writes "Nicu." Somebody needs to practice her lowercase O!

Before we cut to the actual commercials, we see something I'm not sure I've ever seen on a fully scripted show before -- a teaser for the second half. "Coming up!" Like, "Please don't change the channel! We promise it gets better!" The other funny thing about this ad break is that it includes two commercials that feature young people leaping from high buildings (one for JC Penney and one for Snapple), and in both cases there's an onscreen disclaimer: "Do not attempt." Says something about the presumed intelligence level of Lipstick's audience, doesn't it?

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Lipstick Jungle

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